March 22, 2011

Sit-com writers, Ten-Hut!

From the LA Times, in an article on a Libyan government-owned mansion in Englewood, NJ:
But it is the one [homeowner] who has never been seen who commands the most attention: Moammar Kadafi, Libyan leader and lord of a multimillion-dollar mansion that flies Libya's flag and sits next door to one very peeved Orthodox Jewish rabbi.

Rarely has the stone-walled structure, with expansive grounds, pond and swimming pool, been the placid retreat the Libyan government envisioned when it paid $1 million for it in 1982, six years before Libyan agents blew up Pan Am Flight 103.

The estate, called Thunder Rock, has been a flash point for years for local protests, most recently in 2009 when Kadafi lost a battle to erect his traveling Bedouin tent on the lawn during a U.S. visit. But never has Thunder Rock's fate been as uncertain as now, with fresh State Department sanctions targeting Libyan property and a renewed uproar over the home's tax-exempt status in the state with the country's highest property taxes.

"This is a man who blows up airliners!" said the rabbi next door, Shmuley Boteach, who complains that the green Libyan flag flapping in the breeze is the first thing he sees each morning through his bedroom window. "I have a deep-seated loathing of tyranny, tyrants, dictators, people who brutalize their citizenry. And Kadafi hits the top of the list."

To be fair, a U.S. flag also flies from a pole outside Thunder Rock, and for all his complaining about the neighbors, the Los Angeles-born Boteach has been known to stir up controversy himself. The self-described relationship expert raised eyebrows in the Orthodox community for his close friendship with Michael Jackson when the pop star was facing allegations of child sex abuse, and for advice books such as "The Kosher Sutra" and "Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy."

Even Boteach admits that his relentless drive to oust his neighbors has gained him a reputation as a nuisance among some local leaders, including some of his friends.

C'mon, this can't miss as a situation for a sit-com: Michael Jackson's rabbi (played by Billy Crystal) and an attention-starved Arab tyrant in exile (Mickey Rourke) squabble over their backyard fence in suburban New Jersey. Then, the rabbi's arms dealer nephew, Efraim Diveroli (Eli Roth), has to move in with his uncle as part of his parole and he gets into wacky international intrigue with the Kaddafi Kids (Kal Penn and Sarah Silverman).

26 comments:

Another Anon said...

You should visit Englewood next time you are in the NYC area, Steve. You would find it an interesting place. There's a black ghetto section, where The Rev. Al Sharpton used to live (or still lives -- who keeps track). Then there's a section with huge, old-money estates. And there's another section where orthodox Jews knock down not-as-big, but still expensive houses and replace them with much bigger houses that take up most of the lot (bigger houses = more room for kids). There's four star steakhouse next door to a busy abortion mill. There's a main drag with high-end shops on one side and shabby Columbian restaurants on the other end. All sorts of diversity in a tiny (25k) city.

Anonymous said...

...four star steakhouse next door to a busy abortion mill...

I wonder what's in the hamburger?

[Mystery Meat?!?]

Chicago said...

The cops ought to seize Boteach's computer; it's probably full of many megabytes worth of porn. Anyone really believe someone huddling that closely with Michael Jackson was just discussing spiritual matters? Reminds me of when Jesse Jackson was supposedly acting as a "spiritual adviser" to the beleaguered Bill Clinton.

Whiskey said...

Muggeridge's law. Real life beats satire, every time.

OneSTDV said...

I've seen Boteach quite often on TV for this and that (an attention monger if you ask me) and he's insufferable.

SF said...

Too bad Vaughn Meader is no longer with us. He could get a lot of mileage from this. His dinner conversation between Nasser and Ben Gurion was one of the funniest parts of the First Family routine. Moammar and the rabbi could argue about who has better sex life.

Anonymous said...

Gadaffi/Kadaffi (who can keep track of this guy's name?) has lots of hot female body guards and nurses. Whatever you think of the man, he's got good taste in women.

ben tillman said...

It's been suggested that, technically, Qaddafi is Jewish. They say mormor was.

Anonymous said...

Will Judge Judy get involved?

Sword said...

Ben Tillman wrote:

------
They say mormor was.
------
"Mormor" is maternal grandmother in Swedish. onsidering that Jews think that Jewishness is inherited on the maternal side, this is (if true) a good choice of words.

Just wondering why Ben Tillman would know that word in a small language.

Carlos S said...

Never work. Gaddafi looks like Slash, but 20 years older, and in fruity colorful clothes. Much too ugly to stare at for a half-hour sitcom (okay, 23 minutes after all the commercials).

Drawbacks said...

I've distrusted Shmuley Boteach's judgment ever since he published Kosher Sex, overlooking the obvious first choice title, The Oy of Sex.

Anonymous said...

you know they let the man convicted of blowing up the airline out of prison, right? And this was just when an appeals court in Scotland was about to order a new trial? that should be a clue to you that, maybe you should not baldly claim Libya blew up the airline.

Considering that Libya is now being bombed, parroting dubious official stories is not appropriate

Anonymous said...

"I have a deep-seated loathing of tyranny, tyrants, dictators, people who brutalize their citizenry."

Deep-seated! No one cares about the welfare of Libyan citizenry more than Shmuley Boteach.

"Muggeridge's law. Real life beats satire, every time."

This is why a lot of us read your comments, "Whiskey".

SF said...

http://blog.vdare.com/archives/2011/03/23/update-jahmell-crockam-is-charged-with-shooting-to-death-lakewood-nj-officer-christopher-matlosz-family-insists-that-he-is-an-innocent-churchgoing-fall-guy/

For a real feel-good script, you could have one of Moammar's hottie bodyguards save the rabbi by gunning down a couple of the bloods, stopping a home invasion and forever improving arab/jew relations.
Wait, that might offend somebody. Better change the home invaders to tea party extremists.

Anonymous said...

Steve don't hesitate - write the pilot episode.

Good sitcoms like Cheers or Mary Tyler Moore have a dozen continuing characters. If sex is involved Bill Clinton must appear. Hillary too but as a secret anti-Semite. Certainly Farrakhan and Wright should drop in from time to time.

I bought a device Friday to use as a GPS in my car. It also is an HD movie camera. You probably have a movie camera in your cell phone. You could write the script and shoot the pilot for essentially nothing. Do it in segments and post it on YouTube.

A plot premise this juicy can be actualized in video for next to nothing. In the present we have gazillion traffic and security cameras. We have a huge populace all armed with a full color movie camera in their cell phones.

In the past we had partisans like Michael Moore who had to ask George Soros for production money to make their films. But that's changed. Cameras are free and they don't use that expensive film stock at all. Any good PC can now run the best non-linear editor software.

This sit-com can be made!

Albertosaurus

josh said...

I say we bomb that mansion PRONTO! And if theres some collateral damage,well,whoever said life is fair?

Anonymous said...

I am actually from Englewood Cliffs, a tiny rich town next to Englewood. In Englewood, the train tracks used to separate the bad part of town from the good part. Now, white people are moving down Palisades Ave. (the main street of Englewood)

Svigor said...

Man, you nailed it. That really would make a great sitcom. (not kidding T!).

Svigor said...

Mystery Meat

Okay, now we have a title for our sitcom, to go with the pitch.

spandrell said...

"The cops ought to seize Boteach's computer; it's probably full of many megabytes worth of porn. "

LOL
yeah, lots of megabytes in the internets.

Anonymous said...

Quite ironic, considering Englewood was the home of the late, lamented, (to New Yorkers, anyway) Palisades Amusement Park!

Bantam said...

Efraim Diveroli stars in Rolling Stone.

Anonymous said...

Or it can be a gay-themed family values sitcom. The rabbi marries the Arab-tyrant-in-exile, and their kids--from previous marriages--get to know one another. It can be called the KRAZY BUNCH.

David said...

>Michael Jackson's rabbi (played by Billy Crystal) and an attention-starved Arab tyrant in exile (Mickey Rourke) squabble over their backyard fence in suburban New Jersey. Then, the rabbi's arms dealer nephew, Efraim Diveroli (Eli Roth), has to move in with his uncle as part of his parole and he gets into wacky international intrigue with the Kaddafi Kids (Kal Penn and Sarah Silverman).<

Looks like America, don't it?

Hey, there's your title..."LOOKS LIKE AMERICA." (Emphasis on "looks.")

Rado Thurman said...

"Never work. Gaddafi looks like Slash, but 20 years older, and in fruity colorful clothes. Much too ugly to stare at for a half-hour sitcom (okay, 23 minutes after all the commercials)."

- Here's how you make it work. Run it as a Kaddafi's Angels. Have virtually no scenes where you see Kadaffi, and when you do, you only see him turned away. Have his dictims carried out through his hot female bodyguards. Maybe even spin that into solving crimes in the area or even a desperate housewives sort of thing, where they get into romantic liasons with the neighbor's nephew.