June 30, 2011

Okay, here's the punchline

Remember the news story about the straight guy softball fanatics who almost won the Gay World Series by pretending to be homosexuals? I couldn't quite come up with the punchline that all my experience told me was out there somewhere. Fortunately, commenter NOTA has supplied it:
"You know, I bet the lesbian softball league never has this problem...."

Here's my 1994 National Review article on Why Lesbians Aren't Gay, which starts with softball.

15 comments:

Steve F said...

The few lesbians I know, were once straight, but had very bad experiences with men. For example, one lesbian I know was in an abusive marriage for years. Another, just never got any traction with men in high school and was "adopted" by some lesbians in college where she played...wait for it...softball.

Also, none of the lesbians I know are angry. They just feel shut-out or exhiled from the world of men.

All anecdotal evidence.

Anonymous said...

That's a classic post Steve. But this one item you missed on: 'Where is gay MLK Jr. or Malcolm X?' Why, that would be Malcom X!

Ricardo said...

The case against Strauss-Kahn just fell apart. Hard working immigrant turns out to be a little shady.

Anonymous said...

side note but i worked in catering once and there was this really faggy fag working, (this was chicago) i mentioned a part of lincoln park I went to and he said 'oh no we (homos) don't go there, the bully dykes chase us with baseball bats"
That was 1993... I knew, even back then, our society was headed in a very odd direction.

Wes said...

Straight White guys are amazing, they can do so much. Except keep their own country. At that, they suck.

San Francisco said...

In my broad and overly reductive framework that I've developed from living in San Francisco, gays and lesbians each have 3 categories into which you can fit most people in that group.

Gays:
1) Gay from an excess of femininity - stereotypical queen. Doesn't want to be a woman, but has a feminine affect, and likes things typically associated with women.

2) Gay from an excess of masculinity - stereotypical biker or musclehead gay. Typically wants nothing to do with the feminine. Taken to its terrifying apotheosis with Ernst Röhm and the SA

3) Gay from out of control sex drive - much easier to find an outlet with men than with women.

Lesbians:
1) Lesbian from wanting to be a straight man - masculine appearance, affect, and hobbies.

2) Lesbian from some trauma at the hands of a man/men. Feels safer in the company of women.

3) Lesbian due to complete lack of sex drive - sexless middle age ladies who want to find a life partner who feels similarly. Think Cynthia Nixon from Sex and the City.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me it should be the other way around, Steve.


Do you know a hetero male that would sit at the bar, share some brews with his buds, and take pride in beaming, "I won a trophy playing with the gay guys in the Gay League"? (I can hear the catcalls and whistles now; the teasing would be endless.) Or would he enjoy telling his girlfriend or wife, or better yet, his father-in-law or dad, "Man, it feels good to win the Gay League trophy"?

I can only see that happening as a joke. *That* I can understand.

On the other hand, Id think straight female softball players wouldn't care if they played in a Lesbian League since they are much more used to the athletics they played in high school or college being heavily populated by masculine women sorts--yes, lesbians.

Anonymous said...

Ricardo said...

The case against Strauss-Kahn just fell apart. Hard working immigrant turns out to be a little shady.


Of course she's shady. That's why DSK thought he could get away with raping her.

Justin said...

hey, short chubby softball playing girls can be straight too! I dated a couple of them...

Anonymous said...

"3) Gay from out of control sex drive - much easier to find an outlet with men than with women."

Actually, research shows that women with a higher than normal sex drive are more likely to swing both ways, while higher than normal men grow hornier for their sex preference.
In another study, out of hundreds of lesbians, there were only 7 of them who had never had sex with a man.

Anonymous said...

Real lesbians (not the lipstick/bad hetero experience faux lesbians) are truly nasty pieces of work where men are concerned.

A friend talked me into playing in a coed softball league in Jamaica Plain, the "woman-identified" section of Boston. I was a pretty good high school baseball player, so they put me at third to flag down the line drives that most of these weekend warriors would duck. The diesel dykes in the league were fairly good, as most played in college, and they would regularly put a shoulder into you trying to take you out--if you were a guy. They would slide if a woman was on the bag.

What saved it for the guys was the fact that all the umps were men, so when the guys started tagging the dykes in the face and such, the dykes had little recourse, so they finally started playing it "straight"!

Anonymous said...

This situation seems like a parody but unfortunately its real.

David said...

>Real lesbians (not the lipstick/bad hetero experience faux lesbians) are truly nasty pieces of work where men are concerned.<

I've worked for a number of such. You are right. They truly believe all men as such, no matter how nice, are scum under their shoes. There are more of these women than is usually assumed.

Anonymasaurus Rex said...

Why would lesbians need a separate softball league?

Anonymous said...

"The few lesbians I know, were once straight, but had very bad experiences with men."

Ditto. Strikes me that a large share of lesbianism occurs at the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum, where a disproportionate share of the men are inclined to be complete douche bags. I ran into a large share of such lesbians in my old blue collar job before finishing my degree. I've run into fewer since, even though white collar enviroments are generally more tolerant of such lifestyles.