How to be a celebrity

First, be an African-American or a white American.

Forbes has published its top 100 global celebrities listing for 2005, which ranks celebrity's "power" on pay and web, press, and TV coverage.

I count 82 Americans, although I'm probably off by a bit.

I come up with 58 white Americans and an impressive 16.75 African Americans (I count Tiger Woods as 0.25 black and Kimora Lee Simmons, rap impresario Russell Simmons's part Asian wife, as 0.5 black).

That's about 50% more African-Americans per capita than white American make the Forbes list.

I come up with 8.5 Jewish-Americans, which is about four times the national average per capita, but perhaps fewer than you might guess. I imagine, though, that I'm missing some mixed ethnicity people or Jewish celebrities with Anglicized names.

The only Asians on the list are mixed: Tiger, Kimora, and the Van Halen rock band brothers.

I could be off by a few in these counts, especially of white people -- I'm especially likely to assume Canadians are white Americans. Plus some people are just hard to characterize -- is Mel Gibson an Australian or an American?

I come up with five Brits, plus a few Australians, Kiwis, and Canadians. It's a definite plus to speak English.

There are six Europeans, although Wolfgang Puck and Annika Sorenstam are pretty Americanized by now. And there are three Brazilians.

The Hispanic list is harder to count: Leaving out the three Brazilians (two supermodels and a soccer player), there are 6.7. (The "Desperate Housewives" cast gets counted as a unit on this list, an one actress is Mexican-American -- and magician David Blaine is half Puerto Rican and half Jewish).

But two of those 6.7 are blue-eyed Hispanics in surname only -- movie actress Cameron Diaz and TV actor Frankie Muniz. That leaves two baseball players (Alex Rodriguez and Mannie Ramirez), Jennifer Lopez from Puerto Rico; and boxer Oscar De La Hoya, who is the only Mexican-American on the list by himself.

This African-American to Mexican-American ratio of 17.75 to 1.2 shows the radical difference in impact on popular culture of the two largest minorities. Despite all the hype you read about how Mexican-Americans are making "vibrant" contributions to American popular culture, the numbers tell a different story.

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer