The other iSteve has a blog, too

I particularly liked this posting in which that other iSteve discusses a private meeting with Jerry York, a member of the Apple Board of Directors, following the revelation of the backdating options scandal:

He sits for a while more, saying nothing, tapping his foot on the table. Then he goes, Kid, you keep your passport up to date? You must, right? With all the traveling you do. Sure, I say, I keep it up to date. And you keep it with you? he says. I go, Yeah, most of the time. Or my assistant has it. Huh, he says, your assistant. Huh. See, me, I keep it right in my briefcase, always with me, never let it out of my sight. You know what else I do? I keep about a million in cash with me too. Right on my jet, in a safe. And I spread some money around the world, different places, like Switzerland, and South Africa. Places like that. Just cash money. Money I can get my hands on. A few million here and there. Rainy day money is what I call it. And nobody knows about it, not even my family. And I got friends in those places, lot of old friends that I stay in touch with. And some friends in D.C., too, guys I grew up with, the kind of guys who don't tell you where they work. Guys like that come in handy at some point. You see where I'm going with all this, kid?

I'm like, Jerry, dude, I have no idea where you're going. Are you going to South Africa? Or Switzerland or something? Why are you being all weird and mysterious? [More]

Later, after mulling over Mr. York's advice, he posts:

For various reasons that aren't worth going into, the folks at Apple are looking around for a few people who could step into my shoes at various events. For example, if for some reason I want to be on vacation, but I also need to give a keynote speech or open a retail store or something, my stand-in could take my place. Provided we give him some decent training on the voice and so forth. Frankly I was not very happy with the skinny dude we hired for the WWDC. Too thin, too gray, and the vocal energy just wasn't there. Now we're battling off all these bloggers who are bombarding our PR department, thinking I'm frigin sick. Who can blame them? The guy looked like crap. Dudes, I'm not sick. I swear. I was in friggin Polynesia, okay? Obtain a clue.

Anyway, we think it might be cool to get a bunch of Steves so we could field me out to multiple appointments at the same time. Or have some stand-ins to take some dangerous duty, like Saddam used to do. Or to throw people off the trail if I ever need to get lost, as a certain member of my board of directors has suggested.

Having more than one also might help create a little bit of confusion, like at the end of V for Vendetta where there's like thousands of people all wearing that same freako goofball mask and the cops don't know which one to shoot. We'll set loose a handful of "Steves" in black mock turtlenecks and wireless round glasses in the hallways at Apple. Hell, we could get a hundred people and put them in Jobs masks.

The goal is to buy the real El Jobso a little extra time. Hours are everything in these situations. Trust me, I ain't gonna pull an OJ, heading for Mexico in a friggin white Bronco with a wig and fake mustache on the back seat and some moron steroid case behind the wheel. When I disappear, believe me, you won't even know I'm gone.

Like a lot of guys who have led a pretty blameless life, I'm still fascinated by the mechanics of how to make a break for the border. That was the source of my frustration with "Thelma & Louise:" Susan Sarandon shoots a man in Arkansas, so she and Geena Davis light out for the Mexican border, but they do it so incompetently that they end up falling into the Grand Canyon. I mean, that's like 1500 miles out of their way. Clearly, women just aren't serious about this hugely important topic.

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer