Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist announced today that production of Terminator 5 would be indefinitely suspended. Instead, the ex-Governor is starring in a Broadway musical revival of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum as the Roman slave Pseudolus (originally played by Zero Mostel). In a casting coup, Phil Silvers' role of Hysterium is being recreated by Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Here's their showstopper together:
From Stephen Sondheim's lyrics:
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who you hire when you're short of help
To offer you the sort of help
You never get from a spouse:
Fluttering up the stairway,
Shuttering up the windows,
Cluttering up the bedroom,
Buttering up the master,
Puttering all around the house!
By the way, I finally figured out how to turn on the five gray "Share Buttons" below. The first one ("M") is for email, the second ("B") for Blog This, the third ("t") for Twitter, the fourth ("f) for Facebook, and the fifth (whatever) for Google Buzz. I've tried the Twitter one and it works. These buttons should appear on all future and past posts, so if you want to tweet the old post about, say, Tim Pawlenty and the pimp's knife, be my guest.
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23 comments:
There was a TERMINATOR 4? I didn't even know. Pt 3 was awful.
And if Schwarzenegger stars in another Terminator movie, his body will be CGIed, right?
Just look at him:
http://thebsreport.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/arnold-schwarzenegger1.jpg
there's no good reason at all for there to ever be another terminator movie, television show, anything.
A musical with Arnold might finally top PAINTED WAGON as the worst musical of all time. Eastwood singing has to the lowpoint of his career.
Could this have anything to do with the drop in testosterone levels caused by past steroid usage?
Just sayin'.
And if Schwarzenegger stars in another Terminator movie, his body will be CGIed, right?
They did that in Terminator Salvation (aka "T4"). Only it was his face that was CGIed, the body belonged to another, younger Austrian muscleman, Roland Kickinger.
are you on Twitter???
Vaguely -- The titles of my blog posts are being automatically tweeted to my followers.
A musical with Arnold
1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBGOQ7SsJrw&feature=related
2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlicWUDf5MM
3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FFQ_g8OoQM&feature=related
I saw Funny Thing during Washington try-outs when I was 14. Late-Plautus, early-Sondheim prepares you for life. In the last 50 years, there have been no surprises.
Dear Henry:
What's it called what Sondheim is doing where he rhymes the first word in each line:
[HYSTERIUM]
Pattering through the attic,
[SENEX]
Chattering in the cellar,
[PSEUDOLUS]
Clattering in the kitchen,
[SENEX]
Flattering in the bedroom,
Everybody Ought to Have a Maid
I agree.
Steve, it's simply called a "beginning rhyme." Will you at least concede that verbalist Jews give you pleasure?
What's it called what Sondheim is doing where he rhymes the first word in each line
I think the correct term is probably "homeoteleuton", which is actually quite clever on Sondheim's part. The Romans rarely used the traditional end rhyming, but did use homeoteleuton often. AFTHONTWTTF was studiously based by the writers (Shevelove and Gelbart) on ancient Roman comedic forms and jokes, and this makes me realize Sondheim was aiming for something along the same lines in terms of authenticity with respect to the poetic form of the lyrics. Subtle...
Terminator 5? At 64, Arnold is a little old to be an action movie star. His new signature line will be: "Ow! My Back!"
Apropos to the topic, but that was a terrible musical number.
Steve,
You're as bad as my husband with this Arnold thing.
The part that got him rolling the most was the fact that the maid's husband divorced her three weeks after the kid was born. Your friend was right.
The child was born with blond hair. One of those rare instances where one can say, "Oh my, the baby's.... white!"
The Old South has something to teach the mistresses of the house about these things.
Black and obese is the only way to go.
"A musical with Arnold might finally top PAINTED WAGON as the worst musical of all time. Eastwood singing has to the lowpoint of his career."
The low point of Eastwood's career was appearing in the same movie in which Lee Marvin sang.
If Arnold really wanted to remain a Master of the Universe for another decade or so, then he could give a great big F.U. finger to the entire SWPL-verse, turn his back on the Kennedy/Shriver clan, and start taking Ms. Baena with him as his date for the red carpet paparrazi shoots.
And little brownish/blond Jr could accompany them as Arnold's "legitimate" heir.
Mestizo-America would go absolutely BONKERS over it.
Arnold would instantly become the biggest star from California south to Chile [encompassing what - 400 or 500 million fans?!?], and he'd have enough spare change to bankroll movies until he was in his mid- to late-70s.
Now admittedly it would take some mighty big balls to walk away from SWPL-dom, but [if the 'roids didn't shrink them up entirely] Arnold might just be the one equipped to pull it off.
The other old, disgraced Hollywood star who might reinvent himself as a Latin American idol is Mel Gibson. The last two movies he directed were the most remarkable aesthetic responses to the Hispanicization of America yet. But, he went for the Slavic model trouble.
"But, he went for the Slavic model trouble."
The thing that people don't realize is that Mildred whatsername isn't Arnold settling, it's what he's genuinely attracted to. A couple of my friends worked with Arnold during the shoots on Predator (Mexican jungle) and Total Recall (Mexico City) and said he went through a nearly endless number of Mexican ladies, many of them at about Mildred's attractiveness level. David Caruso was so convinced that Arnold was boning his then-wife Rachel Ticotin (costar of Total Recall) that he flew to set to challenge Arnold to a fight. As it turned out, she was the only Latina in a 20 mile radius who wasn't screwing Arnold.
Why not an animated Terminator movie starring Rainier Lutwaffe Wolfcastle?
That would solve a few problems.
simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Ranier_Wolfcastle
There was a TERMINATOR 4? I didn't even know. Pt 3 was awful.
3 was the low point. 4 was an improvement on 3, but still inferior to 2, and, of course, the original.
3 should never have been made as it was. The only real purpose it served was to get judgement day over with.
The first post apocalyptic terminator film should've been an expansion on what we saw of the future in the original Terminator*; claustrophobic and terrifying. 4 didn't measure up, and had more of a wide-open western feeling. More Afghanistan than Stalingrad. The unabashedly comic-bookish giant robot was pretty cool, though, except for its robo-bike shoelaces.
* Maybe the point is to work up to that slowly, but if so, the ride there should've been more entertaining. The half-baked "half-breed scion of the noble houses of silicon and meat, uniter of the tribes" thing was lame and particularly out of place, I thought. Humans become more fascistic and religious as adversity increases, and filmmakers all despise this sort of reality, so they copped out by sticking to their tired "alienation" theme and "half-blood prince" schtick.
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