July 1, 2011

Good advice for DSK from today's NBA stars

Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been locked up for a month and a half due to a DNA test. Here's some prudent wisdom he should heed, as passed on by Cameron Diaz's gold-digger in Bad Teacher:
Then the wedding to a rich patsy falls through, and so does her summer-vacation Plan B of ensnaring a Chicago Bull in a paternity suit. Once reluctantly back at school in the fall, she complains to an awestruck fellow teacher: “Did you know that all NBA players not only wear a condom, but then they take it with them?”

on

12 comments:

  1. dearieme7/1/11, 2:57 PM

    What's wrong with flushing it down the loo?

    ReplyDelete
  2. eh7/1/11, 3:17 PM

    TMI

    ReplyDelete
  3. Seamus7/1/11, 4:02 PM

    That strategy is one that Roissy has been known to recommend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous7/1/11, 4:18 PM

    RE: Flushing down the loo?

    Unreliable. Might be a clog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous7/1/11, 4:45 PM

    "RE: Flushing down the loo?"

    "Unreliable. Might be a clog."


    Would she try to fish it out?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous7/1/11, 5:20 PM

    "That strategy is one that Roissy has been known to recommend."

    ...to other people, so that the strategy actually gets used ever.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7/1/11, 6:13 PM

    RE: Would she try to fish it out?

    No self-respecting golddigger would balk at sticking her hand down a toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fred7/1/11, 6:27 PM

    Steve,

    Here's a slow-motion softball from Richard Florida, heading for your strike zone: "Why immigrants help your city stay crime free".

    ReplyDelete
  9. Has to be7/1/11, 6:42 PM

    This sounds more like a strategy for Arnold than for DSK.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous7/1/11, 6:49 PM

    You still got to battle rape allegations and tell-all stories. Kobe Bryant got screwed a few years ago over a false rape. Big Ben got off the hook for a couple rape accusations.

    Most athletes/celebrities have moved away from groupies and toward hookers, escorts, "cocktail waitresses" (ie high priced hookers), professional "party girls" (also high priced hookers), and strippers. With them, everything is discreet. These are the type of girls that guys like A Rod and Tiger go after. Yes, Tiger got caught, but it took a few years and a crashed car to do him in.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous7/1/11, 9:53 PM

    Lots of bankers seem keen to sexually assault maids.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Glaivester7/1/11, 10:17 PM

    “Did you know that all NBA players not only wear a condom, but then they take it with them?”

    As I recall reading somewhere, someone had suggested instead throwing the condom out, but first killing everything inside using hot sauce (or something else with lots of capsaicin). That way, anyone trying anything gets taught a painful lesson.

    ReplyDelete

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