After Newt Gingrich's frontrunnership implodes as people get bored for the umpty-umpth time with Newt's incessant yammering, Republicans will need somebody new to fill the Anybody But Romney hot seat. Obviously, Ron Paul is unthinkable, so I've found the perfect modern Republican candidate. He's handsome, he's a successful politician, he has a Spanish-surname to appeal to the Hispanic Electoral Tsunami, and he appears to be as dumb as a box of rocks.
Granted, he's not, technically, an American, but that kind of nativist prejudice should have no place in our forward-looking GOP. I suppose you could also object that Enrique Peña Nieto is currently busy being the favorite for president of Mexico on the former ruling party's PRI ticket, but clearly the GOP should make him an offer. You don't find a perfect fit like this everyday. From the LA Times:
The front-runner in Mexico's presidential race stumbled in a high-profile way at a world-class book festival on Saturday, when, over several minutes, he appeared unable to correctly name a book that's influenced his life, besides the Bible.
And even then, Enrique Peña Nieto fumbled, not citing an "author" or a prophet whose biblical verse has particularly touched him. Instead, he merely made a vague reference to "some passages of it."
He also confused the names of two well-known Mexican authors, Enrique Krauze and Carlos Fuentes, in a four-minute episode that ended with the candidate red-faced, saying, "The truth is, when I read a book I often don't fully register the titles."
He's such a synergistic fit that maybe Peña Nieto could run on both the PRI and GOP tickets simultaneously. After all, as a great man from Texico might have said, "Literary values don't stop at the Rio Grande."
I speak Spanish and love visiting Mexico, but I can't think of a single Mexican I know who actually reads novels. In Mexico, it seems like the TV is going all the time, whether someone is watching or not.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Barry will lend him his teleprompter.
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, GOP voters seem to have had their fill of candidates who sound dumb when speaking extemporaneously. That's why Rick Perry flamed out so fast. And that's also why Newt Gingrich is surging now, despite the Pullman Car of baggage trailing behind him, and despite being to the left of the field on immigration -- at least he can think on his feet and speak coherently.
ReplyDeleteBut so can Romney, which is one reason why he'll be the nominee. BTW, Mother Jones published this humorous, related piece: "13 Reasons Why Newt Will Never Be The GOP Nominee".
If he supports Israel 110% and wants to lower the capital gains tax - he's the Republican's dream candidate.
ReplyDeleteRemind us again why Ron Paul is "unthinkable," since it seems that a lot of people are thinking that he's the man. He won the Oklahoma GOP straw poll, and has been very consistent in Iowa. Iowa is doable for Paul, and a win there would massively legitimate his candidacy in the eyes of the general eletorate.
ReplyDeleteObviously, lots of people don't have the same criteria as "unthinkable" as you do.
So much for Herman Cain. He was exposed as an over-sexed black man. Now can the media find at least one woman, besides Michelle, that Obama displayed at least a wee bit of sexual interest in?
ReplyDeleteLooks like the PAN will retain control of the presidency for at least another 5 years. Bueno.
ReplyDeleteBooks are dead. They should ask 'what is your favorite rock album?'
ReplyDeleteAnd what nerd reads anything that isn't: a) (science)fiction or b) a how-to manual? Although I guess the guy could've thrown in some popular masculine reading interest sort of like a contestant in a beauty pageant...
ReplyDeleteWhy is Ron Paul unthinkable? I consider him the best candidate on the issues.
ReplyDelete"Now can the media find at least one woman, besides Michelle, that Obama displayed at least a wee bit of sexual interest in?"
ReplyDeleteAll of his former girlfriends could be married. Married women aren't generally keen on nationally publicizing their past boyfriends. As for journalists and biographers, they were all trying to build up his aura. They weren't trying to investigate him. There probably wasn't even any opposition research from the McCain people.
Someone, for example Kitty Kelley, could still write a real biography.
Did someone just launch a big ad campaign for this blog?
ReplyDeleteHow else to account for the sudden surge of sarcasm-proof (Ron Paul) commenters?
Sorry, not buying it. You can find literature-unconscious Republicans, but likewise Democrats. Libertarian and Greens, like most outgroup parties, tend to have a higher percentage of readers, though many will have a narrow list.
ReplyDeleteLots of well-read conservatives out there. Don't perpetuate the stereotype without evidence.
Ron Paul IS in fact unthinkable because he's too old and too principled.
ReplyDeleteRon Paul is unthinkable because the Israel Lobby and the Amen Corner disapprove of him.
ReplyDeleteOn the Internet everyone is for Ron Paul. I know a self-professed Communist who's for him. Also, lots of PC liberals and an Islamist. This highlights how unrepresentative the Internet is of humanity and of its political opinion. Attempts to influence politics and policy through the Internet will probably remain futile for a long time to come. Just think about this: most people who chat about politics on the Net support Ron Paul. Communists, White Nationalists, religious fanatics and even Dems and GOPers. In real life he can't get above 8% among GOP likely voters and is probably around 5% in the general population.
ReplyDelete"Now can the media find at least one woman, besides Michelle, that Obama displayed at least a wee bit of sexual interest in?"
ReplyDeleteThey don't need too; he has kids.
Yep, if Peña Nieto ran for president in the US, he could probably get votes in all 57 states.
ReplyDeleteWhy is Ron Paul unthinkable? I consider him the best candidate on the issues.
ReplyDeleteYou just answered your own question, methinks.
"the candidate red-faced, saying"
ReplyDeleteYet another Mexican politician that reflects the country's demographic diversity.
Anonymous 5:53, if our politics weren't so screwed up Paul would be even more marginal. Just as most of us don't vote for a candidate so much as against their opponent, Paul has internet fans as a representative of opposition to the establishment, "Dr. No".
ReplyDeleteI agree with Assistant Village Idiot, all this harping about the "stupid" GOP gets tiresome.
ReplyDeleteThe comment about Ron Paul's limited appeal is dead on. No "straw poll" or Internet flash mob can change the fact that Ron Paul has never won anything, will never win anything, because his political instincts are some of the worst ever.
He's had plenty of time to develop as a candidate (isn't this his third White House run?), and yet he still can't find a suit that fits him, still hasn't hired a debate coach with all these funds he supposedly raises. Even if his foreign policy is the most sound — it probably is — he still comes off as unhinged with his wild eyes and high-pitched run-on sentences to nowhere.
I wish him all the best in his imminent retirement.
Here is another question: If one can get Hispanics to vote Republican, why has no one tried to get Blacks to vote Republican?
ReplyDelete"Books are dead. They should ask 'what is your favorite rock album?'"
ReplyDeleteRock albums are deader than books. People still buy books.
I am not a fan of Mr Beck either but THIS is an outstanding interview that really highlights one of NAFTA Newt's many blindspots:
ReplyDeleteObama's Bestiality Problem
http://elvisnixon.com/2011/12/07/obamas-bestiality-problem.aspx
@mr_evergreen
ReplyDeleteThe GOP has done plenty of black outreach, with predictably lousy results. That ship has sailed.
Christopher Paul: Paul hasn't won anything? Hasn't he been elected 11 times? Sure he hasn't been elected president, but that's a very long list. I'm hoping his campaign lays thegroundwork for his son. Very similar politics, but younger and more "polished".
ReplyDelete