April 23, 2013

How many Death Row marriage proposals will Djohar Enchained receive?

The poem extruded by Dresden Doll singer Amanda Palmer about the younger bomber reminds me that a recurring topic in Tracey Ullman's sketch comedy is women who fall in love with killers on Death Row. Above, Tracey plays the current Mrs. Wet Wipe Killer and the future Mrs. Tastee-Freez Rapist.

And here's an earlier Tracey Takes On in which fierce lawyeress Sydney Kross convinces meek bank teller Kay Clark (both played by Ullman) to marry her Death Row penpal so Sydney can make an appeal for leniency.

15 comments:

  1. That is hilarious.

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  2. Twilight.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMLw6QrXE2I

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  3. Djohar Cullen is cool.

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  4. "Thirteen female prison guards were charged by the Maryland U.S. Attorney’s Office in an indictment unsealed Tuesday in federal court. They allegedly smuggled into the prison cell phones, prescription pills and other contraband uncovered during a year-long corruption investigation of state detention facilities."

    "At the center of the investigation was an alleged leader of the gang, Tavon White, who prosecutors said had sexual relationships with at least four of the prison guards, fathering five children since his incarceration in Baltimore in 2009."

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/thirteen-correctional-officers-indicted-in-maryland/2013/04/23/6d2cbc14-ac23-11e2-a8b9-2a63d75b5459_story.html

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  5. My question is how many marriage proposals will he get from fellow inmates and if he was ever put in general population would he become somebody's bitch?

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  6. They should put up a total and then take over/under bets in 'Vegas.

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  7. Considering how the Federal death penalty is practiced, it unlikely Mr.Tsarnaev would ever be executed even if the court were to returned a sentence of death. The only 3 Federal executions since 1977 involved people who waived further appeals.

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  8. Djohar does look kind of like Neil Gaiman, Palmer's husband (or whatever)

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  9. Also Catherine Tate's Elaine Figgis character - marries multiple murderer and cannibal as he awaits execution.

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  10. Crawfurdmuir4/23/13, 6:37 PM

    "If any wench Venus' girdle wear,
    Though she be never so ugly,
    Lillies and roses will quickly appear,
    And her face look wond'rous smuggly.
    Beneath the left ear so fit but a cord,
    (A rope so charming a Zone is!)
    The youth in his cart hath the air of a lord,
    And we cry, There dies an Adonis!"

    [Air III, "The Beggar's Opera" (1729)]

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  11. How many? Couldn't say. I have an odd feeling that Heartiste will keep us updated on the situation as it unfolds.

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  12. Very funny--but true.

    Females are so interesting.

    Let this be a lesson for love-starved WNs, I suppose.

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  13. I have a feeling the kind of girl who throws herself at a convicted mass-murderer wasn't going to make a great choice as a wife and mother of your kids, anyway.

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  14. Just watched the second link, that's awesome too.

    I'd never heard of Ullman before. From wikipedia, she doesn't appear to be even part Jewish, surprisingly. Mother is English and father is Polish catholic. However according to another article, supposedly he spoke Yiddish all the time when she was a kid. (?)

    I'm really surprised at Ullman, an actually funny female comedienne. Perhaps the exception that proves the rule. Love the ACLU as targets for ridicule, that was great.

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  15. Jonathan Silber4/24/13, 3:03 PM

    Death Row? You mean to say the Bomb Brother will have to decline the job offer from Columbia of professor with immediate tenure?

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