World War R

As affluent whites push blacks out of Washington D.C., it has suddenly become crucial for the Washington NFL team to drop its name of "The Washington Redskins." Because it's the symbolic stuff that really matters.

So, what would make a good replacement name for the Washington football team? Some suggestions:

The Washington Palefaces
The Washington Pandas
The Washington Gentrifiers
The Washington SWPLs
The Washington Mall
The Washington Consensus
The Washington Sacajaweas
The Washington Gergens
The Washington Lobbyists
The Washington Close Personal Friends of Prince Bandar
The Washington Pundits (But would that be anti-Asian Indian?)
The Washington People of Pallor
The Washington V-22 Ospreys
The Washington IRSs
The Washington NGOs
The Washington NPRs
The Washington Ridesharers
The Washington Helium Reserve
The Washington Bailouts
The Washington Printing Presses
The Washington Skyboxes
The Washington Magical Negroes
The Washington Beltways
The Washington Talking Heads
The Washington Spinners
The Washington Wide Stances
The Washington Cthulhus