You may be wondering where old National Lampoon writers can find work today. After all, they seem far too hostile and crass to be employed by such contemporary venues of non-inappropriate humor as The Onion.
Fortunately, there remain jobs open to men of their personalities, such as writing Israel's immigration regulations. From The Guardian:
Israel to stop issuing birth certificates to babies born to foreigners
Israel says it is not obliged to issue documentation and wants to stop foreigners using birth certificates to stay in country
Israel is to stop issuing birth certificates to babies born to foreigners – a move targeted at migrants but will also encompass diplomats and other international workers. The absence of official documentation is likely to cause major problems when applying for passports and other identity papers.
The plan was disclosed in state papers filed to the high court on Monday in response to a challenge to an existing policy of refusing to include the father's name in foreigners' birth certificates. As part of this policy, Israel also insists that only the mother's family name may be documented as the baby's last name.
The Israeli government says it has no legal obligation to issue official birth certificates to foreigners, and intends to stop doing so to prevent foreigners using such documentation to claim the right to stay in the country. Instead, foreigners will be given hospital-issued birth notices, which are currently hand-written in Hebrew.
A reader explains:
Israel is no longer issuing birth certificates for ... "illegal infiltrators" as they call them in Hebrew. Even further, they are not listing the names of the purported fathers without DNA proof of fatherhood (at the alien woman's expense!).
Thus, the wetback women, gentile servant girls and prostitutes who are imported to service the Israelis cannot use a bit of Jewish sperm to get impregnated and then stay in Israel as mothers of a half-Israeli (but not Jewish, since the mother isn't Jewish) child.
As a lawyer, I really like the "handwritten" part. Sure, the hospital may have to give SOME kind of evidence under international law, but it doesn't have to RECORD the evidence in any sort of Israeli-maintained eternal electronic database as they do for Jews. If a mother cannot provide proof that SHE is an Israeli citizen then all she gets is a handwritten birth note.
So the Israelis do the bare minimum to meet international law, yet any effort to USE the "certificate" (in Israel or elsewhere) can be immediately challenged:
"Ma'am, all you have shown me is a piece of paper. I can't even read the handwriting. You say it was written by some hospital clerk in Tel Aviv, but they have no record of ever writing it. Unless you can come up with something better, or get this note authenticated by the appropriate Israeli authorities, I am afraid I am going to have to deny you benefits and deny a passport to this child you have with you."
Or this:
"Ma'am, you say you want to sue Mr. Moses Moskowitz for child support? You will need some proof that he is the father. Do you have a birth certificate? No? Just this little scribbled piece of paper that you say the hospital gave you? That's it? No DNA test results? Ma'am, you cannot sue anyone based on nothing more than illegible scribbles and an illegible signature on a piece of paper!"
Now compare this to the State of California. In California, any woman giving birth can apply for money, name whoever she wants as the father (California requires she give a name), and the state will add her to the welfare rolls.
The state then mails an official notice to a man matching the name she gave, thereby notifying him that he has two months to challenge her statements in court.
If he doesn't respond in the two months, he is legally deemed the father and to have voluntarily waived his right to challenge paternity.
[He did have Two ... Whole ... Months, after all!]
California then steps in to collect money directly from him to offset the cash they give the mother.
isnt it about to to shift to Jus Sanguinis? Jus Soli is obsolete, especially with mexico as neighbor... LOL.
ReplyDeleteDammit!
ReplyDeleteWhy can't we get good lawyers like the Israelis have?
Common sense race loyalty, tribal loyalty, national loyalty.
The Jews have it. The blacks have it. The Mexicans have it. The Indians have it.
We don't.
Not yet.
The Dude said...
ReplyDelete"Not yet."
Not ever.
What happens in California if dna testing proves the man named is not the father?
ReplyDelete"Common sense race loyalty, tribal loyalty, national loyalty.
ReplyDeleteThe Jews have it. The blacks have it. The Mexicans have it. The Indians have it."
The Israelis have it. American Jews are outmarrying like crazy. In 50 years it'll be one of these things like being 1/32 Native American in the South--half the white-Asian middle class in the Northeast will be 1/8 Jewish and credit their great-grandpa for their financial sense.
George Soros, Mark Fuckerberg, Mike Bloomberg, and Chuck Schumer could not be reached for comment.
ReplyDelete[He did have Two ... Whole ... Months, after all!]
Hot damn. Given that it's mostly junk mail, and that I have a very large mailbox, there are times I go damn near close to two months without checking my mail. Probably better get on that.
If he doesn't respond in the two months, he is legally deemed the father and to have voluntarily waived his right to challenge paternity.
ReplyDeleteIf he does claim paternity at the birth, he has two years to get it reversed if a DNA test proves he's not the father. This happened to my stepson; the baby was more than a year old when it all got resolved and the child support order against him was dropped.
I don't know if the same rule applies if he doesn't answer the original notice in two months and gets assigned paternity that way.
Jus soli may end up being America's terminal illness
ReplyDelete"If he does claim paternity at the birth, he has two years to get it reversed if a DNA test proves he's not the father."
ReplyDeleteIf he isn't the father, does he get back the child support he's already paid, plus the cost of the DNA test, plus damages?
I want to see a law that requires women to pay back child support to men they've cuckolded, and to pay for the DNA tests if the man they claim is the father turns out not to be. Women want equal rights, and it's damn well time they got 'em.
"Jus soli may end up being America's terminal illness"
ReplyDelete"May"?
Contrary to the airy assertions of leftist busybodies, international law provides no clear right to any "birth certificate." (In some countries domestic law may provide such a right.)
ReplyDeleteArticle 7 of the 1989 Convention on the Rights of the Child (unratified by the USA though ratified by many other countries) specifies that each child be registered by name and nationality (effectively, mother's), but does not require States Party to provide certificates of that registration or anything else.
Indeed, complaints have been voiced that the governments of States which ratified the CRC do not think it grants any right to a birth certificate as such (in addition to registration).
Since the consensus of governments is the basis of international law and authoritative treaty interpretation, the fact that most governments consider certificates optional means that certificates are indeed optional under international law.
In before Israeli Supreme Court ban.
ReplyDeleteAmerican Jews are outmarrying like crazy.
ReplyDeleteAnd orthodox Jews in the US are having babies like crazy.
It just shows you that the Israelis sense an imminent threat - and they are wise enough to take the evasive action before the threat becomes manifest.
ReplyDeletePut it this way, compare Israel to roughly equivalent Mediterranean nations such as Italy, Greece, Spain etc. All those nations had hardly any third world immigrants as recently as 1990 - in those days mass thord world immigration was peculiarly a north European, especially British, phenomenom, and they were by and large ethnically homogenous, inhabited by the same stock and strong cultures that had been there for thousands of years.
Now look at the situation today, in this year 2013. The Mediterranean south Europe nations are even bigger racial basket-cases than north Europe, and the trickle of 20 years back has become a veritable flood - and it will get even worse.
The moral is, regarding thord world immigration, that the initial trickle must be stamped down upon, HARD, before the whole dyke collapses - and assuredly the whole dyke will in a surprisingly short time.
The Israelis are wise and intelligent enough to know this. The Italians, Greeks and Spaniards, apparently, are not.
The Italians Greeks and spaniards don't control their own borders since they are EU members.
DeleteBig deal. If a foreigner is born in Vietnam they also don't get a birth certificate, only a report of birth (from the hospital) without any nationality specified. One then takes this to one's embassy and obtains a passport for the child... they are used to this. Then with this passport one gets a visa (so that the child's presence in Vietnam can become legalized). This info is first hand.
ReplyDeleteAhhh Jewish/Israeli genius. So what happens if one of the kiddos wants to leave israel? No papers they are basically stuck in Israel forever. They can't even leave for a day. So the whole plan is stupid. Not to mention the strange hand written note is always going to be valid in *cough* *cough* Israel. So I file this under Immigration Restriction Theater.
ReplyDeleteFree advice to Israel: Use your world wide network of Mossad agents to get the children of 'infiltrators' genuine papers from whatever country of origin even if local officials need to be bribed and the papers need to be forged.
The Vietnamese Boat people might be a better example if an immigrant invasion run full couse.
Vietnamese people in Hong Kong
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_people_in_Hong_Kong#1990s_-_orderly_repatriations
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_boat_people#Refugee_camps
Think about it. GoldiBlox is not making any money. They may not be selling product yet. They are living on venture capital, and are looking for their next big "sale": second round financing, possibly going public (but that is probably way too early).
ReplyDeleteThe purpose of this ad is to build interest to help make their pitch for second round financing.
The ad shows investors that the company is politically correct, it is related to "educational diversity products" (i.e. the latest boom/bubble market now that Common Core is mandated), and therefore likely to go public with great fanfare--or to easily get federal/state educational dollars.
Also, the ad has leading opinion makers (NYT, Gallop, Sklar) showing interest and therefore has political/Cathedral "legs" ... at least long enough to get more investment money/third round financing.
Cute (but not too cute) girl in charge means plenty of positive media attention along the road and therefore a good IPO price.
The "audience" for the ad is guys with bags of money hoping to buy in, pimp the company and sell it to chump investors down the road.
Well at least all those illegal-infiltrator babies will grow up to compete down software-engineers' wages for the benefit of Mark Zuckerberg, says the New York Times!
ReplyDeleteSolved that California University's problem.
ReplyDeleteA Democrat candidate said there were no illegal immigrants because he never saw an illegal human being.
Call them "illegal infiltrators" and the problem is solved.
I'm not a big fan of Israel, but I actually find these stories kind of uplifting...not really as frustrating as some might at the obvious double-standard between Israel and the U.S.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who wants legal immigration lessened and anchor babies deported, it's easy to get into the "amnesty is inevitable" mindset.
But here Israel succeeds in reminding me how easy these inevitable, seemingly impossible-to-solve problems can be to fix.
I want to see a law that requires women to pay back child support to men they've cuckolded, and to pay for the DNA tests if the man they claim is the father turns out not to be. Women want equal rights, and it's damn well time they got 'em.
ReplyDeleteCuckhold rights its time has come. Hey ho hey ho why's my wife such a ho.
Maybe don't get cuckholded. Why should my tax dollars get spent trying to ensure that your kids are your own.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDelete"American Jews are outmarrying like crazy."
"They are marrying high IQ gentiles, and the children will be loyal to Jewishness. It's a gain for Jews, loss for gentiles--loss of gentile talent to Jews.
It's not Jews melting into gentile society but the best fruits of gentiles being picked by Jews."
Not true in my experience. Know many couples like this and in most cases the children are exposed to Christian and Jewish faiths, but are more likely to embrace the prevailing faith of the society - which is to say Christian.
It is the problem of sat-hire and statire as opposed to satire.
ReplyDeleteSatire was originally the critique of power/authority/human-stupidity by free-thinking individuals.
As satire often relied on humor and since humor is, by nature, mocking and irreverent, satire was seen as a danger to grim and humorless authority.
But in time, the powers-that-be came to see and value the uses of satire. Thus, satire became sat-hire, or satire practiced by hirelings of those-in-power. And there was also statire, or state-sanctioned satire.
Soviet papers were filled with satirical pieces and political cartoons .. but against the Free West and never against the Soviet leadership.
Thus, satire could just as easily be used by the powers-that-be to control the masses. A lot of people watch late-night Talk Shows, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and SNL for 'satire', but what they really getting is sat-hire. All these so-called 'satirists' are the darlings of the powers-that-be that run the government, media, finance, law firms, courts, academia.
Where is the satire of Jewish/Zionist power? Where is the satire of Ivy League shenanigans? Where is Hollywood satire of Wall Street sharks? Where is the satire of Obama's 'bailing out' the banks and slavishness to AIPAC? You won't find get it from most media 'satirists' who are really sat-hirists.
Sat-hire irreverence is directed at only certain targets. So, sat-hirists working for the Liberals will only mock Conservatives and Republicans while going easy on the Democrats and Liberals--or even covering up for them.
And it's no different with the sat-hire of Rush Limbaugh and all those talk radio toadies of AIPAC and the men who won the media.
So, we have all those Liberal sat-hirists writing jokes for late night talk show hosts to make fun of those who oppose 'gay marriage', but homo power is shielded from mockery and critique.
And one cannot touch upon MLK as a figure of satire... though we can make fun of God and Jesus.
Sat-hirists are merely users of the techniques of satire to serve the powers-that-be. They are not true satirists like George Orwell who favored truth above all.
How come 'search' doesn't work on this blog?
ReplyDelete"Jus soli may end up being America's terminal illness"
ReplyDelete"May"?
Well, it is possible that something unforeseen could kill America before the demographic invasion finishes the job.
A Democrat candidate said there were no illegal immigrants because he never saw an illegal human being.
Call them "illegal infiltrators" and the problem is solved.
I prefer "criminal infiltrators." The AP are right, people in violation of the law aren't properly referred to as "illegal." So "criminal infiltrator" works better.
Hat tip to the AP and the state of Israel.
>> the prevailing faith of the society - which is to say Christian
ReplyDeleteThe real religion in America is high school football.
American Christianity has been reduced to arguing about whether gays should be bishops.
Not true in my experience. Know many couples like this and in most cases the children are exposed to Christian and Jewish faiths, but are more likely to embrace the prevailing faith of the society - which is to say Christian.
ReplyDeleteI'd laugh if they chose Islam instead.
>> anchor babies deported
ReplyDeletethe current situation in Israel is: if the baby remains successfully hidden until it is enrolled in a Hebrew kindergarden, the child will be NOT be deported and will be granted temporary paperss; its mother is
UNLIKELY to be deported unless she's gotten herself a police record.
At 16 (age when people need to go get a National ID CArd ("teudat zehoot"), the kid will TYPICALLY be granted permanent residency if s/he has kept up in school.
2 years later, that same child will be conscripted; after receiving an honorable discharge, the kid is eligible to petuition parent(s) into Permanent Residency.
A really large portion of the illegals are filipinas who started out with legal work visas which merely expired.
None of the Israelis ==I== know, considers the filipinits to be a "troublemaking" risk. They are mostly doing scut-work, off the books. People trust them to take care of aged parents. Israelis joke about them, not worry about them.
It's the Africans which are a criminal class.
site:isteve.blogspot.com ANTI-SEMITISM!!!
ReplyDeleteTry that instead?
The Israelis are wise and intelligent enough to know this. The Italians, Greeks and Spaniards, apparently, are not.
ReplyDeleteThe Israelis have the power of the press and influential globalists behind them. The Euros do not. The American government, via wikileaks, continually pressures Euro nations to become multicultural. The same is not being done to Israel. Other nations risk trade and other beneficial parts of their relationship with the US if they don't begin to open up. Israel does not face this threat.
Give Israel credit for not being stupid, and for not arresting their version of the Golden Dawn.
The Italians Greeks and spaniards don't control their own borders since they are EU members.
ReplyDeleteBut Turkey, the perennial EU outcast, does control its own borders and immigration for this very reason. It is surprising to see immigration into Turkey - but it has happened for many decades, and it starting to be a problem (albeit a controllable one.) Turkey was fine with the Russians, Azeris, and Balkan and Caucasian Muslims that came in the 1990s. But now, with Arabs, Pakistanis, Indians, and Indonesians flooding in - enough is enough!
I'd have to disagree with your title on this one, Steve. The joke is clearly on us, particularly on Californians, apparently. That bit about California birth certs and paternity would be pure comedy gold if sadly they weren't true.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, given the severity of being labeled a deadbeat dad and having your wages garnished, hopefully they at least find the mother guilty of fraud, send her to jail, and allow the man to sue her, if he can prove that she knew he was not the father. For a civil suit, all he would need would be to show it is more likely than not.