June 30, 2013

Who wrinkles fastest?

The English poet W.H. Auden at age 19:

Famously, Auden, the human Shar-pei, at about 65:
But what explains LeBron James' wrinkles?

53 comments:

  1. Auden led the boys on a merry chase through the bathhouses for decades, and didn't exactly stint on the alcohol and tobacco. Maybe he isn't the best example. (See United States by Gore Vidal, p. 423 and elsewhere.)

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  2. Africans age faster than Europeans (and mature faster too). Look at how old MLK looked and he was only 39 when he died.

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  3. And Greg Oden, who with his deep facial crevasses, sagging skin, and bum leg moved straight from the draft day "green room" into the nursing home? (OK, he took a twitter pic along the way... that's not the link below, though)

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXtR76xOAr5b07k9XxlnY0nahn7XOnmmAVCgvM6GanKQxRsfg-Iw

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  4. Orwell said something like, Everybody gets the face he deserves after age 45.

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  5. Assuming it's from a combination of sun exposure and genetics, I would say rednecks.

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  6. Maybe that's why Oden got drafted #1 -- they figured that since LeBron looks about 15 years older than he really is, that Oden looking 25 years older means he's going to be even better! You can't argue with logic.

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  7. "Nature gives you your face at twenty. Life shapes your face at thirty. But the face you have at fifty is the face you have earned." -- Coco Chanel

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Notice Henry6/30/13, 4:30 PM

    What the hell happened there? He looks like he lived a life harvesting sugar cane in the tropical sun all day long.

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  10. In the U.S., I would say white people purely in the wrinkling sense. Keep in mind that even Paris is of a higher latitude than anywhere in the continental U.S. -- we're not made for all this sunshine.

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  11. Auden was a notorious speed freak, which probably explains the wrinkles. He compared his face to a wedding cake that had been left out in the rain, possibly inspiring the song MacArthur Park.

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  12. Oden looks like a throwback and so does Patrick Ewing.

    http://i.usatoday.net/communitymanager/_photos/game-on/2012/03/29/ewingx-large.jpg

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  13. Not to mention Oden even WALKED like he was 70 years old -- I think the whole thing might've been some kind of prank. He might even be Kevin Durant's (pick #2) biological grandfather.

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  14. Those who have wrinkles done to them,
    Get wrinkles in return?

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  15. Auden used amphetamines every day.

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  16. http://blogs.the-american-interest.com/wrm/2013/06/30/andrew-pochter-rip/

    Jewish guy in Egypt gets killed. Not very smart for a Jew--or even a Christian--to be in Egypt today.

    And horrible to be Christian in Iraq or Syria today. I'll bet Christians in Iran are safer and better off. Funny how that works.

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  17. Speed use would explain the reptilian face. Eg. Lou Reed.

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  18. >He looks like he lived a life harvesting sugar cane in the tropical sun all day long.<

    He did, in a manner of speaking.

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  19. Some portion of the 'white (blonde) women age badly' trope can be attributed to the much higher peak attractiveness.

    As an example, Rachel Jeantel has an ageless look. There are plenty of black girls who look like her at 15. Then there are black women in their forties or fifties whose looks haven't changed a bit since they were fifteen year old Jeantels. Sometimes 'you haven't changed a bit' is a backhanded compliment.

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  20. Whiskey,lots, sun when young, some, but mostly I think Auden hung out with young gay artists who a)were shocked he wasn't a 12-year-old Lolita boy-toy at 65 and b) went in for that 1900 German yellow-journalism cartoonist style that uses a heavy drafting line to make everything look 'serious'.

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  21. Did a whole bunch of Christians come to support 'gay marriage' cuz they misunderstood the meaning of 'turn the other cheek'?

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  22. Dr. Oliver Sacks is among the last members of Auden's New York coterie still working.

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  23. I don't really know who that is, but it has got be lots of alcohol.

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  24. LeBron has "folds."

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  25. Rachael Jeantel looks like she has a goiter.

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  26. People age better now than they did in previous generations. Look at Denzel Washington (58) or Jeff Goldblum (60). Goldblum was dating that 18 year old chick from Lost a few years ago. I think his girlfriend now is 29. Women still don't age as well as men, though they are aging better now than 10 years ago. There are some actresses in their 40's now who still look pretty hot: Alyssa Milano, Jennifer Aniston, etc. In the 1990's there were hardly any.

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  27. Time will say nothing but I told you so,
    Time only knows the price we have to pay;
    If I could tell you I would let you know...

    The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
    There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
    Time will say nothing but I told you so.


    -- W.H. Auden

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  28. And speaking of Auden... relevant to nearly everything on this blog.

    Once we had a country and we thought it fair,
    Look in the atlas and you'll find it there:
    We cannot go there now, my dear, we cannot go there now.

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  29. "But what explains LeBron James' wrinkles?"

    I honestly think the foreheads of blacks wrinkle more prominently than whites. I don't really mean in terms of aging, but when the skin up there scrunches, it does so more strongly.

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  30. Bernadette Peters keep her beautiful completion because she couldn't swim and thus never went to the beach.

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  31. Anonydroid at 5:10 PM said: And horrible to be Christian in Iraq or Syria today. I'll bet Christians in Iran are safer and better off. Funny how that works.

    Hunsdon said: Jews, too. To bet on the life expectancy of a Christian in Iraq vice a Christian in Iran, I'd want long odds.

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  32. Bernadette Peters keep her beautiful completion because she couldn't swim and thus never went to the beach.

    Bernadette Peters is a musical god. And, in her day, a red hot mama.

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  33. McGillicuddy6/30/13, 8:04 PM

    E. Asians. Their skin is so soft and blubbery that their faces begin falling around 25, and at 65, they pretty much all look like Auden did.

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    1. What? My wife is Korean, age 32. Her skin is remarkable. Firm, smooth,soft, no blotches, and no wrinkles. She has better skin at 32 than white girls have at 21. When we lived in the US people thought she was in her early twenties. I don't know about other Asians but Korean women have truly beautiful skin.

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    2. Google image search "average Asian woman aging." OP is wrong about their faces falling at 25, but when they hit the wall in middle age they crash.

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  34. Blacks age internally much quicker relatively speaking. Other than better bone density, they suffer more health problems than whites in just about every category.

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  35. Rachel Jeantel appears to have diabetes neck. Her neck is fat and darker than the rest of her skin. I bet she is at least pre-diabetic.

    As for noses, pug noses age the best, especially on women.

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  36. The pritzker a trying to buy lighthouse beach in Evanston.

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  37. On the same topic, I keep hearing/reading about how accomplished LBJ is at his age versus Jordan. Even Nate Silver with his big data brain got caught up in this.

    NBA players seem to be like helicopters. It's all about cycles and stress, not actual age.

    At 28, Jordan had 26,637 regular season and playoff minutes on his frame. LBJ has 36,328. He's also substantially heavier. Joints, tendons, back, groin... that's a lot more of a beating.

    One could argue that the 101 games played Jordan had in college might be added to his wear and tear. At 30 mpg that entire college career was less than a typical regular NBA season for MJ.

    Lebron is probably physically older in basketball years than most people realize.

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  38. Who wrinkles fastest?

    Who? You mean between English homosexual drug addict alcoholics and black NBA basketball players?

    That's a hellava comparison.

    Auden actually had remarkable first step quickness and a killer cross over.

    A lotta people don't know that.

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  39. Alice Cullen has great skin.

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  40. My wife is Korean, age 32. Her skin is remarkable. Firm, smooth,soft, no blotches, and no wrinkles.

    Ah yes! I noticed that about your wife too.


    Er, excuse me, I may have said too much.

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  41. 42 comments and nobody has reprised the best one: "if that's his face, imagine his scrotum".

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  42. Anonymous said...

    In the U.S., I would say white people purely in the wrinkling sense. Keep in mind that even Paris is of a higher latitude than anywhere in the continental U.S. -- we're not made for all this sunshine.


    And to think that people laughed when Tina Fey as Palin said she could see Russia from her house.

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  43. "Women still don't age as well as men, though they are aging better now than 10 years ago. There are some actresses in their 40's now who still look pretty hot"


    60-Year-Old Woman on the Benefits of HGH

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  44. This article was in the daily mail, looking at the guy Adam, would you believe he is only 23? His skin is largely wrinkle free, but his receding hair line, beard and build make him look much older.

    http://goo.gl/Q8lLo

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  45. But what explains LeBron James' wrinkles?

    Dark pigmentation makes ordinary wrinkles of facial expression stand out more?

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  46. I don´t know about American "student athletes" of vibrancy, but African soccer players in the European leagues routinely lie about their age. In order to be eligible to play in the minor leagues, 21 year old Ghanaians, for instance, would pretend to be 16. Soccer Clubs are eager to play along.
    They also seem to be able to play well into their thirties, unlike soccer players of other races who are basically finished once they reach 32 years of age. So you get nominally 40 year olds Africans playing in the field.

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  47. Don't chain smoke and do speed for 50 straight years, kids.

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  48. alonzo portfolio7/1/13, 12:14 PM

    My wife is Korean

    Yes, but is she stereotypically Korean? E.g., will she ask a stranger how much money he makes?

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  49. Speaking of wrinkly English cultural icons, check out the Daily Mail's front page on the Stones at Glastonbury.

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  50. I thought what you were implying was that James's age may not be what everyone thinks it is? I know I saw him in his rookie year and had a hard time buying the fact that he was 18-ish. Of course if he was actually 18 then the flame that burns twice as bright...

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