Not being terribly interested in the inner thoughts of teenage girls, I hadn't been following the Lonelygirl15 webcam phenomenon, which was exposed this week as an elaborate performance created by an actress who was a lot older than 15 and a few guys who want to get into Hollywood movie-making. What caught my eye was the end of the NYT article:
Part of the appeal of the series was that the serious-minded, literate Bree offered an unbeatable fantasy: a beautiful girl who techy guys had something in common with.
On learning that Ms. Rose was an actress whose interests, unlike the scientific and religious issues that fascinated Bree, ran to parties and posing, one fan wrote, “Very cute, but she’s really not into Feynmann [sic] and Jared Diamond! (I’m heart-broken ...But a wonderful actress, had me fooled into thinking she was a geek like me.)”
In other words, this was another mass nerd crush fiasco, like the Libertarian Girl blog, which turned out to be some guy who wasn't making it as just another libertarian guy blogger, so he picked out a picture from a Ukrainian mail order bride catalog and briefly became a blogging sensation.
I'm reminded once again of how little effort young men and young women in modern America put into connecting with each other mentally. There's a gigantic number of high IQ lonely guys out there desperate to meet a girl who wants to talk about the things they like to talk about.
Feminism has exacerbated the chasm between the sexes by telling women to go ahead and assume what they've always wanted to assume:
When a man acts like he is more interested in logical, impersonal subjects rather than in the emotional, personal subjects that interest me, when he appears more impressed by Richard Feynman than by Oprah, he's just doing it to piss me off. The sexes are absolutely identical, as every educated person knows, and since I know how I feel, then he must be just covering up his inner feelings because ... well, because men are evil. Hey, there's some of your logic for you! Now how do you like logic?
One of the big advantages that Asian women have in the American marriage market is they don't seem to think like this as much. They see some guy at a party that none of the white girls will talk to because he seems like a nerd, so they start talking to him, and, sure enough, he wants to talk about physics. And they think roughly to themselves:
Physics is hard. Not many people have a logical enough brain to understand it. Logical talent is always in short supply, so it's paid well. Men who are paid well make better boyfriends and husbands than men who aren't paid well. Okay, maybe physics doesn't pay well, but he looks like the kind of guy I could talk into going into a more practical career without him ever really noticing it wasn't his idea. Sure, he's shy and nerdy and my girlfriends won't be impressed by how sexy he is, and it will be hard to get him to tell me the things I want to hear, but that also means he won't be out in bars telling other girls what they want to hear all the time. Every Friday night he'll come home to me (and, eventually, the kids) with his paycheck.
So, I'll pretend to be interested in physics. I always kind of wanted to be an actress, so it will be fun! It will be like playing the beautiful lady scientist in one of those science fiction movies he's probably crazy about. He'll be so astonished a pretty girl likes physics that he'll be eating out of my hand. And, he is kind of cute. He has a very masculine mind, which makes him rather interesting.
Am I being manipulative? Of course, but it's for his own good. If some smart woman doesn't manipulate him, he'll waste his life going to Firefly conventions by himself.
And, having a 49 point advantage (half a standard deviation) on the Math SAT over the average white girl gives the average Asian girl more ability to fake being excited about nerdy topics. And maybe this stronger logical ability helps her think more logically about her own self-interest?
Meanwhile, the lack of effort millions of males put in to finding females is similarly striking. Guys, have you ever gone to an art gallery opening? Tried reading a novel that girls like? (Okay, granted, The Da Vinci Code will rot your brain and make you want to become a monk on Mt. Athos to get away from the kind of thinking that appeals to the largely female audience for TDVC, but Pride and Prejudice is better than any sci-fi novel you ever read.)
A reader replies:
Woah, woah, let's not go off the deep end. Cut us some slack. There's a comic book store on St. Mark's Place in NYC that is, I swear, exclusively staffed by cute girls. Sure, it's probably some sort of elaborate scheme by the owner, and sure it's a catch-22 because the store doesn't have very many of the indie comics that it's safe to buy in front of girls, only embarassing superhero stuff, but nonetheless the whole setup whispers: "don't change your ways...this is how the world can be...it's girls's fault for being so girly..." Logic-- logic I tell you--says there's no need yet to do anything drastic like make an effort to compromise in the feminine direction. Logic.