The AP reports:
At an appearance this morning, Barack Obama made some rather cryptic remarks, which aides attributed to an overly tight necktie:
"As you may recall, in March, during the initial controversy over Rev. Wright, I told the nation, 'I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother ...'
"Then, in April, I disowned him.
"On the last day of May, after being betrayed by my new pastor at Trinity United Church of Christ, Otis Moss III, I disowned my church.
"Now, in June, I've realized that, why, yes, I can disown the black community. Sure, you were a big help when I was a small man, but now you're more trouble than you're worth.
"That's it, I'm out of here. I'm not black anymore.
"To be fair, now that I've disowned Rev. Wright and the black race, I'm also disowning my white grandmother. I've always resented you, you tight-assed bitch. So, you're gone too."
"By the way, my black grandmother? I'm disowning her also. She's not actually my grandmother. She was just one of my grandfather's other polygamous wives. It's complicated. And I don't do complicated anymore. So, bye-bye, don't let the doorknob hit you on the way out."
"Oh, yeah, now that I'm disowning Trinity United Church of Christ, I'm disowning Christ too. I was just going through the motions for the votes. But now I've got the nomination wrapped up and the Republicans have no more chance of winning than the Prohibition Party. So, adios Jesus.
"You may be wondering what I do believe in.
"Fate. My fate.
"And what ethnicity am I now?
"Let's just say: I used to be a Person of Color but now I'm a Man of Destiny."