July 14, 2009

The Welsh Genghis Khan

7 Million People Direct Descendants Of Single Smooth-Talking Ancestor

BALTIMORE—Geneticists at the Johns Hopkins University announced Monday that an estimated seven million people worldwide carry a distinctive genetic marker linking them to a single smooth-talking common ancestor.

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

24 comments:

Eddie A said...

I didn't realize it was The Onion until, "As the poets often wrote, he got 'more arse than a chamber pot.'"

Anonymous said...

This actually had me fooled for about 30 seconds.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget about Nial of Nine hostages; I am told in some parts of Eire his descendants make up nearly 30% of the population.

Now, the Welsh are the true Britons, and of course really Spanish and...man this can get confusing, huh?

"As the poets often wrote, he got 'more arse than a chamber pot,"

Uh, hey waitaminute, it's the Onion! You had me until arse and chamber pot.

Anonymous said...

I read this through and almost emailed it and i finally realised it was an onion article

Anonymous said...

I'm a little slow.

I didn't catch on until the part about Dafydd of Nine Cuckolds.

And, being slow, I'll be laughing, still, tomorrow.

Assistant Village Idiot said...

The headline just had me thinking that some journalist was trying to increase readership in the usual way by putting in a bit of a naughty angle.

I wonder if in fifty years historians will be able to tell what was parody.

On the Fringe said...

Shocking piece of pure cultural marxism synthesized by an amerind mestizo activist from La Raza.

"PRINCIPLE OF PROGRESSIVE POLITICS ---> For Peace And Justice To Be Realized, White People Must Be Reduced To A Minority"

And it goes on and on...

http://principles-of-progressive-politics.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

More on the same subject:

http://www.slate.com/id/2222669/pagenum/all

Bill said...

According to lore, Gwilym was a persuasive mead-house balladeer known for his "gilded, tunic-dropping verse." Many texts note his total lack of standards concerning the age, weight, and appearance of the women he bedded, claiming that his silk-adorned pallet never lay cold for even a single night after his 17th birthday.

OK, this explains why I have so many half-siblings. I'm of Welsh origin through my paternal line, and my paternal ancestors, as far as I know, all have this trait.

According to Johns Hopkins' Ghilcrest, the genetic marker his team discovered primarily manifests itself in the trait of extreme persistence, often making its carriers completely impervious to rejection.

"It's rare to see one dominant trait express itself so uniformly in a genealogy across time," said Ghilcrest, noting that this very trait appears to explain why Gwilym had such success in passing down his DNA. "Like his modern descendants, [Gwilym] would systematically approach every woman in his immediate vicinity and engage in elaborate courtship rituals that sometimes lasted 10 or 12 hours. When every opportunity for coupling was exhausted, he would move on, often covering a great deal of ground in a single evening."


Yup. Sounds familiar. My grandpa wouldn't even let up at the age of 80 in the local grocery store. It was very embarrassing to me as a teen when I took him on shopping trips, which often ended up lasting for hours.

Even at that age he got one guy so mad I had to defend him from a baseball bat attack at one point. I'm not kidding.

However, I think this gene passed me by, because I've never been that way, even though I know for sure who my father and grandfather are.

Bill said...

Very funny satire.

Pre-emptive Testy said...

Steve, as usual you just don't get it. I guess I gotta spell it out for you.

See, that Welsh guy was a black alpha male thug who was empowered by the sexual preferences of liberated hot dumb shiksa bitches. REALLY hot dumb shiksa bitches. The kind I can only dream about getting. Anyway, thanks to their bad taste in men, white beta males will soon become extinct and then we'll all be living in radioactive wreckage and bowing five times a day to Mecca. Stupid sluts.

Pre-Emptive Stunned Whore said...

I know a Welsh Guy? And he's really ugly? Ya, so you can't make generalizations.

Thrasymachus said...

It's funny because it's true- in spirit, at least.

Anonymous said...

"Shocking piece of pure cultural marxism synthesized by an amerind mestizo activist from La Raza."

And, tellingly, this amerind mestizo activist lives....in White-built Salinas, CA (check his profile on his blog http://www.blogger.com/profile/09394250515104890893)

Billare said...

I read about half-way into that before I realized it was an Onion piece. Very good work by them.

Anonymous said...

You had me going there for a moment.

corvinus said...

I'm surprised they didn't add that his last name was Davis.

And, as a Mozart nut, I'd have preferred the "Welsh Don Giovanni", myself. But whatever.

I wonder what it would take to be a journalist for "The Onion", hahahaha

Nanonymous said...

Hate to say it but I find it unsettling that roughly a half of the commenters on iSteve admit staring at the URL www.theonion.com/* and not realizing they are reading The Onion.

Anonymous said...

Hate to say it but I find it unsettling that roughly a half of the commenters on iSteve admit staring at the URL www.theonion.com/* and not realizing they are reading The Onion.

Maybe we didn't immediately check the URL. I didn't glance up till I was halfway through the first paragraph. D'Oh!

Christopher said...

Shite! You had me. Even interrupted my 2:30 a.m. Sinead O'Connor assisted barbell workout.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLGobWuiYuc

stari_momak said...

Two words. Tom Jones.

Anonymous said...

"I'm surprised they didn't add that his last name was Davis."

I think his surname was Jones, but Davis was his main 'wingman'.

Anonymous said...

Very funny!!! I was half way through before I was sure it a joke (rather than just really bad science journalism), and I got all the way to the end before I checked the top of the page and realized I was reading The Onion. D'oh!

Truth said...

"Pre-emptive Testy said...

Steve, as usual you just don't get it. I guess I gotta spell it out for you."

LMFAO

I think that's better Satire than the article.