July 27, 2006

I missed this when it came out last year

From Human Events:

Billboard Causes Panic: Los Angeles Population Plummets 14% in Three Days
by Mac Johnson Posted May 12, 2005

Los Angeles -- A controversial billboard campaign in Los Angeles continued to make headlines this week as anger rapidly turned to confusion and hysteria.

The billboard, advertising a Spanish Language television station, originally made news by enraging many Americans with its aggressive Mexican Nationalist message --declaring that Los Angeles was no longer part of the United States, but was instead a Mexican city once again.

Below the banner message in which “Los Angeles, CA” had been crossed out and changed in blaring red type to read “Los Angeles, MEXICO,” the billboard pronounced in Spanish “Your City. Your Team.”

Now Gringo anger is the least of the problems caused by the Billboard, as the apparently quite believable reconquista it announces sends shockwaves through the city’s residents, Anglo and Latino alike. In a scene reminiscent of war-torn Europe 60 years ago, the roads leading north out of Los Angeles are choked with thousands of Mexican refugees stoically carrying their meager possessions with them.

When I asked what had precipitated this mass exodus, one migrant, whom we’ll call Jose “X,” simply turned, pointed to the Billboard looming over his neighborhood and said, “¡Oh Man! I stopped walking too soon!” --then bravely continued on with the others.

I asked a second man why he was fleeing Los Angeles, Mexico. “I did a lotta bad things back in Mexico, I’m afraid of police there,” he said matter-of-factly, then added “In America, police must give me Latte, so I walk to America. Again. ¡Norte!”

When questioned about the efflux of migrants blackening all roads leading out of Los Angeles, Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Hugh Dick responded “What Mexicans? I don’t see any Mexicans.”

The Mexican government has seen the problem though and quickly dispatched officials to the scene to aid the population in re-escaping to America. “This is a tragedy,” said Luis de Silva de Gonzales y Ramon de Dinero debajo de Mesa. He added “These people thought they were safe and prosperous, now they’re just in Mexico. Again. ¡Norte!”

The reconquista panic has taken myriad forms. Los Angeles wholesalers were said to be totally out of Chiclets brand gum, as terrified Los Angelenos, believing they were in Mexico, immediately sent their children into the streets to sell gum to tourists. A dazed passer-by, Richard Martinez, commented, “I had a good paying job, Man. Now this happens. Heck, I don’t even know how to speak Spanish except a little to my Grandmother. How am I supposed to make a living asking for hugs and cookies? I’m an American for Chrissake! Quit lumping me in with all these illegals --I DON’T WANT ANY GUM, OK? VAMOOS, YOU LITTLE URCHINS!-- Screw it. I’m moving to Canada.” ...

President Vicente Fox of Mexico subsequently released a statement condemning Bush’s total support for illegal aliens as “lukewarm” and demanding that Bush immediately deploy the Marines to Los Angeles to “restore Mexico’s moneymaker, dammit.” Adding, “¿Do you think these people can sell enough gum to wire home a billion dollars a month? ¡Take back L.A. now!”...

Anti-American liberal whites in Los Angeles briefly poured into the streets to celebrate L.A.’s “liberation” from United States “hegemony”, but they were quickly dispersed with massive force from the Federale LAPD. Commented one smiling officer as he repeatedly swung his baton onto a crying trustafarian, “Where’s your First Amendment NOW, pinko?” The officer then asked us to pay a $100 cash fee for a “reporting license.” “After this, I’m gonna start me a drug gang!” he told a grinning friend standing nearby, on the thin neck of a “Peace Activist”. [More]

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

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