July 10, 2006

"The Pirates of the Caribbean: Shiver Me Timbers"

(or whatever the sequel to the movieization of the theme park attraction is called) made $55.5 million ... in one day! I guess that people still like to go out to the pictures. This reminds me of my all time worst financial prognostication in my review of the quasi-original movie back in 2003:

A couple of American adventure movies set in British Empire days are bringing old-fashioned subject matter back to the theatres. Of the two, Johnny Depp's "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" definitely has the longest title.

It's also better executed than Sean Connery's "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," which always seems about to collapse in a heap, especially during a chaotic car chase through the streets of Venice. Personally, I wasn't aware that Venice had streets. Perhaps the filmmakers got Venice confused with Vienna?

Still, murky as it is, "Gentlemen" somehow keeps its act together well enough to achieve a surprisingly consistent level of mediocrity. At least it's built on a more intriguing premise than "Pirates," although that's not saying much because "Pirates" is inspired by an amusement park ride. A very good amusement park ride indeed, but not something that the world has been crying out to see on screen. [Little did I know ....]

I wonder what's next in this trend of leveraging non-narrative brand names into movies. Maybe "Ralph Lauren's Polo: The Movie," in which Edward Norton plays a young WASP blueblood from the Bronx who lights out for the Wyoming Territory to ride herd on a seersucker ranch? Or possibly "Krispy Kreme: The Artery Strikes Back"? [More]

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

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