Old fogeys sound off about radio

Mickey Kaus laments:

Why does the music they play in clothing stores sound so much better than the music they play on the radio? My guess: Clothing store music is designed to put you in a good mood so you'll buy stuff. In practice, this monolithic, insidious commercial motive translates into simply playing good music. ... The song you hear on the radio, in contrast is likely to be something some record company promoter has bugged (or bribed) the station to play. It will probably be an artist with current commercial potential--not a one-hit wonder, or singer who's died or quit the business, but an "act" of non-trivial potential future earning power. ... Or it will be someone who knows someone who knows the DJ. ... And it likely won't be a two-year-old song of proven appeal, but an iffy new song from whatever CD is about to come out. (Let's give this struggling new singer-songwriter a break!) Or it will be an older song from a band that's appearing in town that week. (Perhaps the station happens to have tickets to give away!) ... Or it will be an act the station is trying to "break," in order to get bragging rights within the industry (the way LA's KCRW boasts about breaking Norah Jones). ... All of these hidden, ulterior motives corrupt the simple goal of playing music you will enjoy hearing. Give me honest clothing store songs any day.

Music you haven't invested your hopes in often sounds better. Low expectations for overheard music mean everything you hear that you like is a pure plus, while if you choose a radio station you are investing some of your self-image in it, so you start thinking self-critical things like, "Man, I'm waaaaay too old to listen to KROQ" or "I can't believe I like the 1980s synth-pop songs on Jack FM" or whatever.

The same thing happens with going to a movie: You have to use your advertising and critic reading skills to pick out one you think you'll like, then convince your wife that she'll like it too, then pay money to see it. So you wind up with a lot riding on it emotionally, and it's easy to be disappointed. In contrast, there's flipping through the dials and pausing on some unknown film to listen to a few lines of dialogue:

Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude: Yeah, but Walter...
Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.

Now, that's pure gravy.

Another issue is one you see on classical music stations with the difference between 18th and 19th century music. The Chicago classical station specializes in heavy 19th Century masterpieces, while the more commercial LA classical station KMZT (it even has a morning man who tells classical music jokes -- and, no, they don't involve Beethoven sitting up in his grave and saying, "Can't you see I'm decomposing!") focuses on sprightly 18th Century works. Most 18th century music, whether Baroque or early Classical was probably originally presented with the introduction, "Here's a little something to brighten your day, Archduke," while most 19th century music comes with the message, "Take a spiritual journey deep into the profundities of my soul."

Well, sounds swell, but can you give me a raincheck on the spiritual journey because I've had kind of a rough day, so maybe you could play a little Vivaldi for me?

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer