May 28, 2007

The LA Timesiest LA Times headline ever

After that cool article last week on roller pigeon fanciers slaughtering thousands of hawks each year in LA (and the print version included a great picture of an eight foot long shotgun, with five foot silencer, that a roller pigeon enthusiast used to covertly assassinate the raptors that feast on his mutant pigeons), the LA Times is back to its old ways, trying to act like LA isn't LA, home to the most luridly stupid news stories in America.

Mickey Kaus
points to an article in the Times finally reporting two weeks after it happened that a Beverly Hills boy at West LA's most exclusive high school, Harvard-Westlake ($27k tuition, 1385 average SAT score), had, attempted to murder a girl student with a hammer, hitting her 40 times, then sped off in his Jaguar. So, what headline did the LAT geniuses choose: "Preppie Hammer Bloodbath Nightmare"? Nah, too lively. Instead:



"Attack Raises Doubts at School"


My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

That´s the minimum raise to expect, isn´t it? Talking about peddling to the lowest common denominator...

Lysander Spooner said...

Thank goodness the L.A. Times employs their super-duper soporific ledes only when covering local news, having the good sense to jazz things up just a tad when reporting on national news.

I must admit, though, pondering the existence of an alternate news universe, one in which the L.A. Times approves banal headlines for national stories, amuses me just a bit.


Bizarro Universe L.A. Times headline for September 11, 2001:

"Dual Aviation Mishap Causes Large-scale Commercial Property Damage"

Lysander Spooner said...

This is fun. I thought of another.

On the fall of the Berlin Wall:

"Spontaneous, Ideologically-driven Concrete Destruction May Blight Eastern European Wall-building Industry"

And lastly:

November 7, 2000:

"Sane, judicious intellectual assumes presidency; George W. Bush elected"


Now, that was just mean.

Anthony said...

They'll never reach the mark set by the NYT with "Worthwhile Canadian Initiative".

Anonymous said...

This is another case of privatizing profits and socializing losses, or, claiming responsibility when things go right, and shifting responsibility when things go wrong.

Things never change.

"You should have told me that my child is a loser!"

Anonymous said...

has mexican immigration wiped out the LA gangster rap scene? you don't hear much about it anymore.

i was listening to radio 1 on BBC today and they were playing tupac shakur and he was rapping about long beach and compton and 1995, and it occurred to me that his entire culture seems to have been replaced in only 10 years.

Garland said...

The LAT archives have hits from May 16-17, with better headlines.

http://www.latimes.com/search/dispatcher.front?Query=hammer+assault&target=blendedsearch&first-page-size=5

I sent this to a reporter I know and he responded:

Where to even begin..... how about this: "Mickey Kaus points to an article in the Times finally reporting two weeks after it happened..." Actually it happened on May 15, so it hasn't even been two weeks. The LAT wrote about it the next day, as did the rest of the local media. And the LAT's first-day story had a headline along the lines of "boy sought for assault on classmate with hammer," so there are your lurid details. The headline these nitwits are blabbering about was a follow-up story with an entirely different focus. Oh yeah, and last I checked Coldwater Cyn. wasn't in West LA. Look, I'm the last guy in the world to jump up to defend the LA Times, but this is just pathetic. The LAT reporters hustled, worked hard and actually did interviews and research, reached the girl's mother, persuaded her to talk, and presented a fairly thorough and enlightening picture of what happened. What did "iSteve" and "Mickey Kaus" do? Sat on their asses and bloviated, facts be damned. Yeah, let's snicker along with them, good times.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of bowlderized headlines, I am reminded of an editorial cartoon that came out shortly after KAL 007 was shot down in 1983. It showed a soviet news anchor reporting: "A soviet heat-seaking missile on a peaceful mission over soviet territory was shot down by a plane load of spies".

Anonymous said...

Now if you want great headlines in a newspaper, the NY Post is your rag. Some of best:

"Headless Body Found in Topless Bar"

"Preppy Prison Pimp"

I don't know who comes up with them, but whatever the Post is paying them, it isn't enough. If the Columbia Journalism Review calls you a "force for evil" you've got to be doing something right.

Anonymous said...

Now if you want great headlines in a newspaper, the NY Post is your rag. Some of best:

"Headless Body Found in Topless Bar"


This could have been a case in which the headline drove the story, rather than vice-versa. An editor at the Post immediately thought of the headline when the headless-body report came over the police radio. He believed that the bar in question was a topless joint, but wasn't quite certain. To ensure that the headline would work, one of the reporters dispatched to the scene was given a sizeable wad of cash to persuade the barmaid to take off her bra, if necessary.

It turned out that the bar actually was a topless joint and the bribe money wasn't needed.

Anonymous said...

A bit O.T.,but two things stand out: A)They said the students were trying to "reach out" to the weirdo. That seems like something new going on,at least in the tonier schools.That they know he is a bizarro,but dont shun him,or tease him,etc.,but try to help him,that may be a sign of some kind of change for the better! :0 B)"Witnessess" said they saw this fight going on in a car?!?--then they saw the idiot pull the girl out and continue clobbering her?!?--and the boy didnt get the stuffing beat out of him,or at least be subdued,as cops are called? Who were the witnessess,little old ladies? (Tho Ive heard of old ladies beating up would-be rapists...which has got to be embarrassing when you go to jail:"Yo,Leroy,what you in for?" "Uhmmm...never mind!" :D )

Anonymous said...

"Witnessess" said they saw this fight going on in a car?!?--then they saw the idiot pull the girl out and continue clobbering her?!?--and the boy didnt get the stuffing beat out of him,or at least be subdued,as cops are called? Who were the witnessess,little old ladies?

People are cowards, what can I say? Fortunately the girl herself fought back. If she had to depend on the witnesses she probably would have ended up dead.

It's also rather disturbing that the 17-year-old attacker is being charged as a juvenile. Which means, of course, that if he's convicted on all charges the only "punishment" he'll face is having his bubble gum taken away for six months. And note that he hasn't even been arrested; thanks to an idiot judge, he's able to work on his tennis game at what's undoubtedly a luxurious private laughing academy. No doubt Mommy and Daddy will do (and spend) their utmost to keep him out of real trouble.