December 9, 2007

Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator, comes to the market

Brawndo, the energy drink that's got electrolytes -- they're what plants crave -- is going on sale December 15. The incredibly obnoxious (but funny) commercial can be watched here on YouTube. (I guess that's what you call Virile Viral Marketing.)

The press release from Redux Beverages is here. (Is Redux such a good name for a beverage company? Does this mean you get to taste their products twice -- going down and coming back up again?)

And if you liked the Brawndo commercial, here's a Powerthirst ad from the same guys.

My published articles are archived at -- Steve Sailer


Bill said...

The announcer sounds like the "Strongbad" cartoon character.

Anonymous said...

I think I lost IQ points just watching that commercial. I better not watch it too many times or, the next thing you know, I'll be writing pro-immigration comments, citing such experts as Tamar Jacoby, Linda Chavez, and Dick Morris.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Cardinal Health or Kaiser will be adapting St. God's Hospital's standards for patient-centric care:

(Start at 7:20 for doctor-patient consult)

Doctor: "Right... Kick-ass

Right, well don't want to sound like a dick or nothing, but uh says on your chart you're fucked up.

Ah, you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.

What I do is just like, ahh... like, you know, like you know what I mean, like"

Patient: "No, I'm serious here."

Doctor: "Don't worry Scro. Naw, there's pleanty of tards out there living kick ass lives."

Anonymous said...

But I'm not a plant, why would I want electrolytes? I don't want to be electrocuted.

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO! I've never laughed out loud at a commercial before, but that had to be the funniest thing I ever saw. Maybe it's a generational thing?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this is just the beginning. I'm sure that Starbucks is considering going into the services industry, and other companies are taking advantage of the window into the future provided by the film to adapt themselves accordingly.

Maybe Judge should re-brand himself as a business consultant.

TGGP said...

The Wikipedia page is here.

Matt Parrott said...

I don't know where the irony ends and the dark fate of our civilization begins, but I'll certainly be keeping a can of this at my cubicle to put beside my red stapler.

Anonymous said...


Now high IQ computer coders everywhere can pull all-nighters while ironically bemoaning the impending idiocracy.

I don't know about you lot but I'm going to buy my collector's cans as soon as they hit the shelves.

Incidentally, not only is the product a spin-off of a cult favorite, so is the video ad:

The video for "Powerthirst" has been receiving a lot of circulation and praise on Will Ferrell's "Funny-or-Die" website since this summer (where it has received "Immortal" status).

Now all Brawndo needs is a vendor agreement with Carl Jrs. and they're all set.


MensaRefugee said...

200 mg of caffeine? Doesnt even Red Bull have only 80mg?

But, yes.. I will have to get myself some cans :)

Anonymous said...

I wonder how many people who watched Idiocracy understood what Mike Judge was getting at...

Anonymous said...

ROFFL... oh man, I think I'm dead or almost there... :D I'll sue Judge for being too funny.

Thirst mutilator... :D

This awesome!


Anonymous said...

"200 mg of caffeine? Doesnt even Red Bull have only 80mg?" know a cup of coffee has 140 right?

Electrolytes are the water-soluble stuff you lose in sweat, which is why they put them in sports drinks. Sodium, potassium, chloride, bicarbonate, etc. Failure to replace electrolytes leads to hyponatremia, where there's too little salt in your blood and your brain swells, among other things.