December 6, 2009

Tiger Woods and Steroids

Here's my column, "Tiger Juice," from Taki's Magazine last May speculating about whether Tiger Woods might have started using steroids during this decade. I didn't find any proof, but I found more evidence than I had expected.

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you're on the 'roids, can you have six mistresses? [Pictures here.]

I thought they* made the little fellas curl up and die.

Or maybe you supplement the 'roids with the little blue pill?




*the 'roids, not the mistresses

Anonymous said...

You know, I was looking through some of the sixty-six pages of pictures at the NY Daily News, and thinking to myself: How the hell would he have the energy for that nightclub-circuit cocaine-whore party-scene if he was NOT on steroids?

It would require a super-human level of energy to be out fornicating with those whores all night and then turn right around and play 18 holes of championship-calibre golf the next day.

Part 1 said...

Part 1

This is off topic but so what. That's what blogs are for.


I'm still not done flogging my bitch “Udolpho”. I came across the writings of John Schwartz while searching the web. He is a New York Times writer. I can't help but notice that his writings have a lot in common with Udolpho's blog posts. It's almost as though Udolpho is copying and pasting bits and pieces of his material. Take this paragraph from a Times article titled “Call Him the Worst Director (Then Duck)” It's about Uwe Boll and the hatred that film geeks and video game fans have for him. Here's a quote from the article- “As vicious as many of the professional reviews have been, video gamers’ online critiques are even more vituperative, and largely unprintable. Some of their complaints sound a bit like those of Jane Austen fans who decry adaptations that miss the essence of their beloved author’s canon. Except that instead of lamenting, say, the way the filmmakers behind “Northanger Abbey” completely misunderstood the importance of the humorous references to Anne Radcliffe’s masterpiece, “The Mysteries of Udolpho,” they excoriate Mr. Boll for shifting the story of “BloodRayne” from Nazi Germany to 18th-century Romania. They also think Rayne’s outfit is not hot enough.”

Now here is a quote from Udolpho's website:

“Virtually every Jane Austen novel written has been put on the screen, and the translations have one thing in common: none of them capture the essence of Austen's writing or sensibility. Whit Stillman's Metropolitan, despite being based on none of Austen's stories, does what the adaptations cannot.”

Here is another quote from udolpho's blog:

“For example, when the geek talks about his pastime he will almost never be able to list the things about it that he likes or dislikes. What he will do instead is describe the pastime's details. The things he claims to like are not the product of subjective awareness but simply the observable characteristics of the pastime.

Take literature. It is possible to enjoy a work of genre fiction, but the hallmark of the geek is to enjoy only works of genre fiction. Especially when the genre involves elves and fairies and muscular lizardmen with laser guns. One could probably go on at length about what makes fantasy and science fiction inferior genres, but to save time their main weakness is that they require no knowledge of any real subject in order to pull off. No homework, in other words, that would involve broadening the reader's horizon. Although fantasy novels, for example, often take place in a medieval-like setting, it is a completely made up, ignorant, preposterous medieval-like setting, with no historical analog and very little internal consistency. You can read fantasy novels safe in the knowledge that they will not enlarge your tightly constrained outlook.”

It's remarkable how much the two think alike. If you go to the front page of the Udolpho site he encourages you to click on a link to a free e-copy of The Mysteries of Udolpho. Also, in the Times piece it is clear Schwartz has contempt for “geeky” video game players who do not share his passion for sissy Jane Austen books.

keypusher said...

This sentence brings a chuckle now:

It’s hard to understand why he might bother with something physically risky and scandal prone.

Jimmy Crackedcorn said...

All of the allegations we're hearing about Tiger's mistresses seem to date to within the last 3 years. Was Tiger not such a lothario before his marriage? Was he faithful the first 2 years or so of his marriage, or do the women from that time prefer not to talk, or did Tiger just start getting a lot hornier in the last few years?

My experience with heavy weightlifting, if you aren't overtraining, is that it seriously increases your sex drive (guys over 30, take note). If steroids help your body recover faster it might be just much more so. So I wonder if all these affairs, which all seem to date to the time Tiger started bulking up, are the result.

Anonymous said...

A commenter on my blog pointed out this article in Men’s Fitness from 2007, when Tiger Woods was 31. It’s surprising because, after reading it, I would never have expected Tiger to give his Las Vegas weightlifting trainer permission to talk to the press about Tiger’s workout regimen.

Yeah, well the back story on that is....well, Google "Mindy Lawton." The National Enquirer, which is owned by the same company as Men's Fitness, had video of Tiger (when his wife was prego) in a compromising position.

Anonymous said...

The minimal sleep sounds like George Bush Senior's thyroid.

Le Mur said...

Probably just about every professional athlete from ping-pong players to Olympic weightlifters take steroids at some point.

dearieme said...

"Woods carried only 158 pounds on his 6’2” frame. [More like 6’0.5”]." Yep, most men lie by about an inch and a half. (Behave! I mean height.)

Anonymous said...

Of course we now know why the always reticent Tiger gave this interview to Men's Fitness: a payoff to prevent revelation of his girlfriend activity.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be so fast to be sure that Yaz played before steroid use in MLB. The book Cooperstown Confidential asserts that Mickey Mantle used steroids in 1961, and Tom House, a relief pitcher from the early 1970's, admits to personal steroid use and alleges that half of the bullpen used steroids, too.

The thing that goes unmentioned about Carl Yastrzemski's outstanding home run surge in 1967 is that it was one of three such surges on the Red Sox in just three years. Yaz went from 16 HR in 1966 to 44 HR in 1967. Ken "Hawk" Harrelson went from 12 HR in 1967 to 35 HR in 1968. Rico Petrocelli went from 12 HR in 1968 to 40 HR in 1969. Yaz attributed his 1967 season to better fitness, including weight training, in the winter of 1966-67. That certainly could be the entire truth. Still, given that steroids had been used in Olympic sports for two decades by 1967, and given the unchallenged report that Mantle himself was juicing, it's hard to be certain that Yaz had no PED assistance in gaining so much strength in one winter, especially with two other similar seasons by Red Sox players in just three years.

In the case of Stan Musial's remarkable power surge, it's often forgotten that the entire National League went from hitting 562 HR in 1946 to hitting 845 HR in 1948. Musial had a bad season in 1947, finishing well below his career norms in batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging. He did go up from 16 HR to 19 HR, though, just as everybody in the NL was suddenly hitting more home runs. From 1946 to 1948 Musial went from 16 HR to 39 HR, but the change in the league home run rates suggest that there was another factor, such as how the baseballs were being made, that might have influenced Musial's rates.

In closing, we need to be careful in citing "pre-Steroid Era" surges in home run power by MLB players. Many of those surges took place in the 1960's and 1970's, and we now know that steroids were common in athletics and available in baseball by then. There are fewer such surges prior to 1960, unless one goes back so far that ballplayers were still learning their skills at the MLB level and the talent level of the leagues was low enough to permit that. Given that pattern, it's tough to discount the possibility of PED use in any season after the 1950's.

- JHB

L said...

The Taki piece reminds me of when I tried 'roids. I was jacked up all the time. Normally I have to drag my reluctant, lazy butt into the gym. On 'roids I couldn't wait to work out. I only slept about 4 hours at night. I finally stopped the 'roids because I was too agitated.
Could be Tiger's taking some of the latest generation 'legal' testosterone-boosting stuff. This supposedly has very few negative side effects, compared with anabolics, but it makes a guy very horny. It might explain his poor judgment re: women.

Tino said...

http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2009/12/russians-did-it.html

Anonymous said...

As I have said, I achieved a very similar physique change without steroids. I'm sure Tiger Woods is more motivated and disciplined than me.

Anonymous said...

Tiger definitely does HGH at least-why wouldn't every athlete? No testing and it makes a huge difference. Love Gary Player btw.

Dan in DC

Past Expiry said...

Easy explanation why Tiger Woods had an affair (or two, or 3, or 4...)
http://pastexpiry.blogspot.com/2009/12/cartoon-why-tiger-woods-had-affair.html

New meaning to the 18th hole.
http://pastexpiry.blogspot.com/2009/12/cartoon-tiger-woods-scandal.html

albertosaurus said...

I have long taken the position that steroid use by athletes is inevitable and should be accepted as another part of the game. You Steve like most others have just dithered and fretted. You decry the lost of purity. This story is just more evidence that I have been right all along.

To understand this phenomenon watch some daytime TV. There are ads running on TV each day aimed at the stay at home seniors who still have some disposable income. These ads promote the use of testosterone - the primary male steroid. They speak of "loss of vitality" and improvements in "imtimacy". They promote testosterone as an accompaniment to your usage of Levitra or Viagra.

I talked to my doctor and had a testosterone test. Alas my levels were right in the middle of the normal range - no easy sex/power boost for me. The point is that steroid useage is main stream now. Doctors are having all of their patients over fifty tested. Many normal men will take extra testosterone on the theory that if a little is good, a lot is better.

Golf doesn't seem like a sport that would benefit much from steroids. I think the way to interpret the use of steroids in golf is to realize that steroids are now so universal that they are even used in golf.

Testosterone may also make you more aggressive and impulsive. If that is so, we can expect couch potatoes to want to get a T fillup too, so as to heighten their enjoyment in watching football on TV with the guys.

Middletown Girl said...

The tiger now needs some tranquilizers.

josh said...

Tiger and Michael Jordan apparently became,and remain, close friends. Jordan "retired" after his father had been murdered,and played baseball,ostensibly as a tribute to his dad. Skeptics say he had in fact been suspended for gambling and hanging with bad guys.You know,felons and stuff. he came back and won 3 more rings with the Bulls before retiring again. (Oddly,his departure was preceeded by an accident where he says he severely cut his finger...on a cigar making machine.)Then he came back one last time with the Wizards,whose owner, Abe Pollin, just died last week. Presumably Mike was not asked to speak at the funeral! (If u saw his Hall of Fame speech,well,you'd get that.)Chi Sun-Times' Rick Telander wrote a short comment a couple of years ago--couldnt find it,tho-- speculating that he may have used steroids,& naming the actual drugs,suggesting that he was revealing info that the press knew very well,but wouldnt allow out into the mainstream. So...that says to me that hell yeah Tiger is using steroids! Of course he is,as was Mike. Its kind of like asking,2 weeks ago,--Oh!How innocent we were!--if you think Tiger is cheating on his dear Elin. "Of course not!" you mightve bellowed. So yes I think Tiger,to change so dramatically,is on drugs. Also,Michael,as noted,is a compulsive(and foolish) gambler.Tiger is too,tho maybe not at Mikes psycho level. Interesting that the constituents of Tigers mixed race--Asian and black--two groups that are usually seen as most dissimilar,have one big thing in common:Love of gambling. Blacks and Asians both gamble outrageously.Its one area where the clever and careful Asians can equal or exceed the most flamboyant,hi living black guys.I think Tiger looks up to Jordan as a big brother type. And seeing the possibilities of drug enhancement presented by his buddy,Tiger would surely...A)Turn away in disgust.B)Counsel Mike on the dangers of steroids and the need to be honest.Or C)....???

Ross said...

In the article you write:

"I would never have expected Tiger to give his Las Vegas weightlifting trainer permission to talk to the press about Tiger’s workout regimen."

It turns out that the Men's Fitness article was a quid pro quo for a sister publication burying a story about another affair, so it wasn't something he did freely.

Anonymous said...

According to this http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/article-1233559/Tiger-Woods-8-hour-diner-waitress-deal-kept-affair-news.html
Tiger did the Men's Fitness interview to keep a boinking story out of the news.

Anonymous said...

And of Woods' paramours - what did they anticipate receiving from their...um...er...efforts?

Anonymous said...

I recently read that Jordan has an illegitimate kid with a woman in Chicago. I wonder why that has gotten so little publicity.

OneSTDV said...

"Skeptics say he had in fact been suspended for gambling and hanging with bad guys.You know,felons and stuff."

ESPN.com writer Bill Simmons has been pushing this theory for years.

Anonymous said...

As early as 2001, there had been hints of a wilder side to the sportsman when he went on holiday with a group of friends, reputedly calling themselves The Brothers and consisting of basketball players Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley and former professional footballer, Ahmad Rashad.

Together with baseball's most expensive player Alex Rodriguez, they travelled to the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas.

Jordan gambled, placing up to $5,000 on a single card. Tiger showed his rebellious side, bleaching his hair blond.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1233559/Tiger-Woods-8-hour-diner-waitress-deal-kept-affair-news.html#ixzz0YxmndlLy

Shawn said...

Steve -

Why do you censor comments critical of interracial relationships?

Elin's children will never have blond hair or blue eyes because of her lust for money.

Jimmy Crackedcorn said...

Elin's children will never have blond hair or blue eyes because of her lust for money.

Oh, good grief! I'm sure there will remain plenty of blonde-haired, blue-eyed children around. These are the kinds of obsessions that make race realists look silly.

Anonymous said...

I guess steroids is a more sexy topic than Ambien, but it shouldn't be.

Part 2 Edited said...

Part 2 of Udolpho and John Schwartz

They have enough in common that I think they should meet each other. Maybe they can spend all day talking about video game man children who have bad taste. But then again it might not work out. The name Schwartz sounds Jewish and we all know what Udolpho Hitler thinks of the Jews. Even worse, Schwartz looks like a nerd. If the repressed geek Udolpho were to meet John he might go into a geekophobic rage and beat him senseless with the plastic DVD cases of overrated Whit Stillman movies-- movies that nobody normal and heterosexual cares about.

Anonymous said...

I have been following the Udolpho freak show for some time, cringing in embarrassment whenever he displays his Borderline Personality Disorder like “reasoning”. His attempts to intimidate perfectly straight men (geeks, as Udolpho calls them) with put downs for not sharing his faggish taste for girly Jane Austen books are unintentionally hilarious. When the intimidation fails, he explodes in a type of misanthropic, whiny rage that I have witnessed only in gay men.

Truth said...

"Elin's children will never have blond hair or blue eyes because of her lust for money."

They won't have $200,000 in bills hanging over their heads after college either, Sport; I'd say that's a fair compromise.

kudzu bob said...

Part 1, leave Udolpho alone. Don't you know how bad it makes nerds feel when they're picked on like that?

Anonymous said...

So are men with hot wives, paradoxically, more likely to cheat? Does it mean they married them for looks rather than love and have insatiable sexual appetites? As opposed to Tiger, Federer has a rather homely wife, and it makes me think he is less likely to cheat...

Anonymous said...

As opposed to Tiger, Federer has a rather homely wife, and it makes me think he is less likely to cheat...

Federer is funny looking (not to say that Tiger isn't). His face is all scrunched up awkwardly. Great player though.

Udolpho.com said...

I know the Tiger Woods story is right up Steve's HBD alley, and don't begrudge him what looks to be a steady stream of posts on this subject, but the wings this story has in the mainstream media is just more evidence of how debased our culture has become--we're willing to excuse ourselves of the lowest fascinations and the shallowest amusements while refusing to do our homework. I look forward to when people openly masturbate while browsing the newsstand or watching television in public--because to resist any urge is a sign you have a problem.

Truth said...

"we're willing to excuse ourselves of the lowest fascinations and the shallowest amusements while refusing to do our homework."

Well Udo, seeing as how you've decided to add your two cents, I guess "we" includes "you."

Hockey Puck said...

Oh, good grief! I'm sure there will remain plenty of blonde-haired, blue-eyed children around. These are the kinds of obsessions that make race realists look silly.

They look silly because most whites have had it pounded into their heads from the age of about nine months that they must look silly. Don't worry, it'll all make sense in the Post-Racial Utopia of NewBrightHappyHope. No need to question the logic of letting the recessive genes leak out of the pool, no sir, that might be racist...

Jimmy Crackedcorn said...

Federer is funny looking (not to say that Tiger isn't)

Tiger Woods is an attractive man. I say that as a white guy, "racist" by lefty standards, who isn't the least bit gay.

They look silly because most whites have had it pounded into their heads from the age of about nine months that they must look silly.

No, they look silly because they are silly. Elin Woods is one woman, one blonde amongst tens of millions of blondes. Most of those other blonde haired, blued-eyed women are marrying within their race. And when they do what are you saying to the ones who marry white guys but with brown/black hair and brown eyes, whose kids also have little chance of having blonde hair and blue eyes? It's not as if the genes actually disappear.

I believe there are lots of good reasons to avoid marrying Hispanics and blacks. I would think long and hard before doing so myself, and would discourage my children from doing so, too. But worrying about the disappearance of blonde haired, blue-eyed kids is the least of those reasons.

Anonymous said...

The recent revelations of his behavior make me suspicious that he might be into crank.

Anonymous said...

Steve, other people are starting to ask the same question:

http://news.google.com/news/more?um=1&cf=all&ned=us&cf=all&ncl=dKUpg17z0oxJW-Msal-vRexRdGd9M

Anonymous said...

Is Tiger juicin'?
The guy went from a walking one iron to where he now makes his caddy Steve look small.
What's his real weight now?
He looks like an NFL defensive back.
The PGA needs to test him, and test
him to put aside this very valid
question.
The guy was chasing history and now
he's a laughing stock. His own PR
may be his own undoing.
It's a shame for him, it's a shame for golf....we don't want asterisks
like baseball.
I think Tiger needs to call a penalty on himself in the true
spirit of golf. But if he doesn't
let's start a grass roots movement to ban the "Cheetah" now!!!!