With President Obama back on TV reading, no doubt, a laundry list of things he's going to do for us, I'd like to look back in time to his first post-election Presidential agenda speech on December 7, 2008:
Today, I am announcing a few key parts of my plan. First, we will launch a massive effort to make public buildings more energy-efficient. Our government now pays the highest energy bill in the world. We need to change that. We need to upgrade our federal buildings by replacing old heating systems and installing efficient light bulbs. That won’t just save you, the American taxpayer, billions of dollars each year. It will put people back to work.
Barack Obama
At the time, I assumed that having a new President whose first Presidential-type speech outlining the first step in his carefully crafted plan involved screwing in lightbulbs was going to inspire a few jokes.
Of course, I was sadly mistaken. The National Humor Depression of 2007-2016 rolls on relentlessly.
P.S.: My wife has on her smartphone Sound Hound, an app that recognizes songs on the radio and tells you what they are. She accidentally started it up while Obama's speech was playing in the background. Sound Hound quickly identified it as "State of the Union address."
P.S.: My wife has on her smartphone Sound Hound, an app that recognizes songs on the radio and tells you what they are. She accidentally started it up while Obama's speech was playing in the background. Sound Hound quickly identified it as "State of the Union address."
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16 comments:
How about that chip Obama put in ceiling fans so the lights cannot produce more than 190W total. There are piles of regulations on all sorts of consumer products due to O.
So, how many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
How many Secretaries of Homeland Security does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I can't believe me. I'm at a watch party for this turkey of a speech.
Then again, I was in person to watch the Governor of Missouri, the most generic boring uninspiring politician of all time, give the most generic boring uninspiring speech of all time when he gave State of the State last week. And Jay Nixon actually thinks he has serious Presidential ambitions.
A country in need turns its longing eyes to...
...Jay Nixon.
Thank goodness for smartphones, so I can catch up on my Sailer.
Sauve qui peut! More and more I find myself recalling that desperate call.
Wouldn't it be cool to see TV and radio pundits discussing the writers who pen the platitudinous prose mouthed by our nominal leaders? I'd love to see some network show panels trying to figure out which of the pack of literate hipsters crapped out particular sentences. So banal.
My reaction to tonight's blather is similar to Anthony Burgesse's, when he first saw the Beatles on TV. He rushed to the bathroom to vomit.
Saints protect us all from this common -- yet eloquent -- politician's appeal to patriotism. The cheering, whorish, adoring crowds.
Sauve qui peut!
I asked my son what he thought Obama was going to lie about during his speech and he said "school lunch". I asked him why, and he said he read about it somewhere.
Somewhere along the line "State of the Union" changed to "Candy Land Unicorn and Fairy Wish List". I'm not sure how anyone can listen to empty, ridiculous promises, interspersed with sycophant clapping.
At the rate he's printing up money and spending it on BS, the government won't be able to AFFORD light bulbs in the near future. So maybe he's right, he will save the US taxpayer money on lighting government buildings.
Q. How many trannies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Only one, but she needs a note from two doctors.
"How many Secretaries of Homeland Security does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
Three. One to put in the light bulb. One to let someone come and take the light bulb. And one to claim the light bulb was never there in the first place.
Apparently, the good auspices of Obama's energy savings have reaped results!
The U.S. Department of Energy's Federal Energy Management Program (FEMP)plays a critical role in reducing energy use and increasing the use of renewable energy at federal agencies... FEMP also helps federal agencies with funding mechanisms for their projects, such as energy-saving performance contracts (ESPCs), under which a contractor pays the up-front cost of improvements and is repaid through a portion of the energy savings. From 2009 to 2011, FEMP arranged ESPCs that saved taxpayers more than $3.5 billion in federal energy costs.
Huzzah! $3.5 billion saved in three years! Let's see, that pays for less than one day of government borrowing ($4.5B a day). Let's keep that up!
"How many Secretaries of Homeland Security does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
None. Obama has a special czar appointed specifically for the task of screwing in lightbulbs, who oversees newly created unions coming to a state near you who will soon be the only people allowed to do this task- you fill out a service request with your local government branch, and 3 union members will be dispatched to your home approximately 3 days to 6 weeks later (depending on the level of urgency assessed by governmental officials from information provided on Form I27483C and their own internal databases). Homeowners below the poverty line can fill for assistance to defray the costs associated with replacing a lightbulb, whereas an average homeowner can expect the low, 'middle-class affordable' cost of $300 for this service.
Never going to get this disparaging of things like energy efficiency.
Kind of like someone beating themselves in the head with a hammer and crowing about it.
For some unknown reason the person doing this thinks they are cool.
An observer thinks they are a moron.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
uh...some obscure number...you probably never heard of it.
What speech?...pure drivel is what I heard.
Then rebuttal kept referring to "our plan". Huh? Republicans have a plan?
well, we know what happened to obama's choom gang. from dailymail in the UK:
"Obama's high school pot dealer who he thanked for the 'good times' was beaten to death with a hammer by his gay lover"
http://tinyurl.com/lazhvdu
How many Canadian football players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It depends if the bulb is CFL or not.
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