April 23, 2013

Kathleen Parker is as wise and funny as The Onion

Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker writes something like the piece on Chechen stereotypes in the new, unfunny Onion:
Parker: Boston bombers defy stereotypes
The terror of not knowing

By Kathleen Parker, Tuesday, April 23, 5:13 PM 
As the manhunt for the Boston bombers reached its climactic conclusion, Americans of all hues and backgrounds heaved a sigh of relief. Thank goodness it wasn’t . . . fill in the blank: 
● a white Christian from the South;
● a dark-skinned Muslim foreigner;
●an illegal Latino immigrant. 
Thank goodness. 
The marathon bombers, officials say, are of Chechen background. Huh? Is that, like, in Czechoslovakia or something? 
If many Americans had forgotten or never known where Chechnya is — or that Czechoslovakia is now the Czech Republic — they were not confused when it came to the Muslim connection. The mere fact that the brothers, Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, were connected to Islam was sufficient for some to justify holding all Muslims in suspicion. 
The relief, meanwhile, was that “our” demographic group wouldn’t this time be blamed. Even darker-skinned Muslims, familiar with group demonization following 9/11, reportedly were relieved. 
... Alas, this is not a comparative religion seminar but an examination of the difficulties ahead as we wrestle acquired biases into submission and resist the urge to demonize groups of people. Discrimination is a life-saving tool in the jungle — steer clear of the hyenas — but it has no place in American jurisprudence. A U.S. citizen gets the full slate of equal rights and responsibilities, including a presumption of innocence, no matter which God he invokes. ...
Once we begin to discriminate in the assignment of rights to citizens and legal residents based on their thoughts, religious affiliation, assemblage — or our own assumptions — we risk becoming our own worst enemy. 
At this juncture, the light-skinned, foreign-born, Muslim-leaning brothers who are suspected of inflicting terror on Boston fit neatly into no category we can define with certainty other than evil, which is, sadly, the unique provenance of the human race. Rooting it out will require more than tighter security or better immigration laws.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Steve, it's a (minor, admittedly) crime against humanity that lame columns like this of Parker's are on the Wash. Post instead of your better ones.

Georgia Resident said...

Americans don't have clear stereotypes about Chechens because they are relatively rare in the US.

Russians, on the other hand, know all about Chechens, and it would surprise them not at all to learn that the Boston bombers were Chechen.

Anonymous said...

"The relief, meanwhile, was that “our” demographic group wouldn’t this time be blamed. Even darker-skinned Muslims, familiar with group demonization following 9/11, reportedly were relieved."

All sides are happy.

To libs, the brothers are right-wing caucasian haters of MLK.

To cons, the brothers are foreign 'muzzie' IMMIGRANTS.'

To muslims, the brothers are light-skinned whites.

To Palmer, the brothers are clueless.

It's like what said of Obama, that he was everything to everyone.

Now, we have the perfect pomo-globo terrorists that confound and vindicate all sides.

To me, the brothers have value as the worst liberal nightmare created by globalist blue policies. I had nothing to do with the immigration/diversity policy while blue libs in places like Cambridge had plenty to do with it.

So, let them pay for it.

Semi-employed White Guy said...

I honestly do not understand how someone as untalented and uninteresting as Kathleen Parker gets to be a paid syndicated columnnist. There are so many, many bloggers out there from all political leanings that write circles around this ditz.

ben tillman said...

If many Americans had forgotten or never known where Chechnya is — or that Czechoslovakia is now the Czech Republic....

So, for the record, the Washington Post thinks Slovakia doesn't exist. Evil and stupid. That's the mainstream media.

Anonymous said...

● a dark-skinned Muslim foreigner;

I have nothing against Muslims, dark-skinned or otherwise, but these Tsarnoff brothers looked pretty dark-skinned and foreign to me.

I'm also suspicious of some of the photos the press is displaying of Dhjokar. They look whitened/bleached. Maybe something to look into Steve.

Anonymous said...

By the way, we have to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time: Steve has been pretty much spot-on with his over-generalized stereotypes of Chechens while, at the same time, we know many of them, and some are Christian, not Muslim, and are very gentle, beautiful people. So please hold to everything that is true, and not just the most convenient parts.

Anonymous said...

OMG..."Muslim leaning"?

Also she prefers "light skinned" instead of "olive skinned". (Neither of the Bomber Brothers would be mistaken for "regular ole white" by the average guy on the street. The uncle, yes.

Anonymous said...

The relief, meanwhile, was that “our” demographic group wouldn’t this time be blamed.

Wasn't this something that should have been considered way back in 1965, when Cellar and company rewrote our immigration laws? The fact that nations with one dominant demographic group don't have problems like this seems lost on the 'diversity is our strength' crowd. Though the USA was no Japan in 1965, it was a lot more homogeneous. Though it had its own problems back then, this was not one of them.

Dennis Dale said...

Nixon advised stonewalling in the face of evidence: "deny, deny, deny",
for the media it's "obscure, obscure, obscure."
Though it really is difficult to tell if the dimmer bulbs like Kathleen really understand the game. When I read her the sexist in me comes out: "okay, just who did she f--- to get this job, anyway, and how can she be that good?" Needless to say by "good" I'm not talking about her writing.
My God she even stumbles on sinister assertions:
Rooting it out will require more than tighter security or better immigration laws.
Gee, I wonder what the Kathy Lee Gifford of punditry has in mind for "rooting out evil" that actually goes beyond our current security measures.
Did she actually contend the Borat brothers were "clueless"? Ah projection!

Matthew said...

"A U.S. citizen gets the full slate of equal rights and responsibilities, including a presumption of innocence, no matter which God he invokes..."

True, but we have every right to discriminate against would-be immigrants for any reason at all. There is no constitutional provision that precludes us from excluding entire races or religions from immigrating. None. That doesn't mean we should, but we can.

Not many people woke up one day and just decided they needed someone to hate, and so hated Muslims. The Muslims did it to themselves. Muslims aren't just more prone to crimes like murder or rape. Their particular type of treachery has forced us to blow trillions of dollars on defense and institute a permanent surveillance state, not to mention the billions of wasted hours standing in line at airports.


Until Islam and the West come to terms, it is best to leave them where they are, and let them evolve, if they so choose. I don't hate Muslims. I just don't want more of them coming here until they improve.

Auntie Analogue said...


That prose is so tone-deaf that of course it's not funny. It's like trying to make people talk high-pitched funny by having them inhale deeply from a balloon lungfuls of plain old...air.

Svigor said...

Once we begin to discriminate in the assignment of rights to citizens and legal residents based on their thoughts, religious affiliation, assemblage — or our own assumptions — we risk becoming our own worst enemy.

Sounds a lil squishy to me. Can we get some details there, Parker?

ben tillman said...

Though the USA was no Japan in 1965, it was a lot more homogeneous.

Mel Brooks certainly thought so. The Craw:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftgAG3Vnif8

The Claw: Very amusing, Mr. Smart. I suppose you can guess what they call me? [holds up right arm, with a large horseshoe magnet for a hand]

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Lefty?

The Claw: No, Mr. Smart. I am employed by KAOS. The international organization of evil. My name is The Claw!

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: The Craw?

The Claw: No, not The Craw, The Claw!

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86: Ah yes, The Craw.

The Claw: Actually, the only girl we want is Princess Ingrid.

Maxwell Smart: Then why did you abduct the others?

The Claw: Unfortunately, Mr. Smart, all Americans look alike to us. We may be diabolical, but we are not perfect.

ben tillman said...

Once we begin to discriminate in the assignment of rights to citizens and legal residents based on their thoughts, religious affiliation, assemblage — or our own assumptions — we risk becoming our own worst enemy.

Did she deliberately leave out "race"? Is she well aware that the government discriminates harshly against Whites and that her narrative needs to be made consistent with that fact?

Anonymous said...

Steve, you're one of the last muckrakers. Ironically, the papers who once employed men of your stripe are now bastions of laziness and privilege.

Instead of the usual suspects, they round up the usual tropes.

The real story here is American racism! That's always the story, you see.

Svigor said...

Instead of the usual suspects, they round up the usual tropes.

Haha! Nice.

"Round up the usual ideas!"

Maxwell Power said...

A few years ago I wondered if that woman might be not very smart. Then she won the Pulitzer Prize. That settled it