April 28, 2014

Sterling v. Nehoray: Battle of the lowlife lawyers

Why are "CLIPPERS CELEBRATE" and "BLACK HISTORY MONTH"
in slightly - but disturbingly - different fonts?
One overlooked aspect of the remarkably tawdry Clippers Brouhaha is its personal injury/divorce lawyer flavor.


That's how Donald Sterling got his start, and he maintains the bulletproof ego of a sleazeball lawyer who knows It Pays to Advertise, no matter how badly.

When he first bought the Clippers, he put up hundreds of billboards featuring a giant portrait -- not of his best player, but of himself.

A rare Donald T. Sterling ad without Donald T. Sterling's picture
His real estate ads are so poorly laid out that professional graphic artists have organized campaigns to stop him from assaulting their eyeballs.

He constantly runs poorly Photoshopped ads in the Los Angeles Times of himself accepting awards from civil rights organizations and other charities. Via Kevin Drum, here's Sterling's latest of countless self-congratulatory LA Times ad:


Here's an online petition:
Whereas print advertisements currently placed by The Donald T. Sterling Corporation in the Los Angeles Times and other publications are really ugly,  
Whereas The Donald T. Sterling Corporation spends hundreds of thousands of dollars publishing the full-page ads, and  
Whereas millions of people are exposed to the ads every day.  
We the undersigned request that The Donald T. Sterling Corporation immediately hire an actual graphic designer to create all future ad layouts. Any future ads placed by The Donald T. Sterling Corporation should, minimally, not look like a disaster, and, ideally, look pretty nice, spread beauty through the world and perhaps even reflect well on The Corporation.  

Let me make clear that allegations that I have served for the last 25 years as Mr. Donald T. Sterling's personal graphic artist are completely baseless. Our visual styles are really not all that similar, if you look closely enough.

Here's one of Sterling's few ads where modesty compelled him to keep his logo small:


Sterling's mistress's lawyer isn't exactly Charles Evans Hughes, either:

A divorcing couple battles in court over their pet gibbon
Siamak Ebrahim Nehoray is a graduate of Memphis State (maybe he met some ballers there?) and the University of Laverne College of Law. He was suspended in 2004 by the state bar association for playing fast and loose with a small amount of a client's funds.

On a somewhat different topic, while I have no opinion on this question, the consensus of commenters at TMZ, who presumably have been following this story most closely, appears to be:


34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sterling sounds like the guy who moved the A's from Kansas City to Okland, Charlie Finley.

Anonymous said...

Sterling sounds like the guy who moved the A's from Kansas City to Okland, Charlie Finley.

Steve Sailer said...

Finley, though, was in some ways a very good owner: he won three World Series in a row in 1972-1974. He was cheap and eccentric, but he thought hard about baseball.

Sterling is a buy-and-hold worst-house-on-the-block investor. Like they say about real estate, NBA franchises -- they aren't making anymore of them! So, the value of a franchise in Los Angeles keeps going up as the rich get richer, no matter how bad the Clippers are. And lately, they are even pretty good!

Anonymous said...

My favorite is the "CAMP DONALD T. STERLING FREE FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN" ad with awful giant photoshop meld of him and a horse:

http://franklinavenue.blogspot.com/2012/06/donald-sterling-does-it-again-bends.html

Anonymous said...

The Wikipedia says that Siamak is a Persian name. A Google search for Nehoray brings up some Israelis. The lawyer could be an Iranian Jew.

Anonymous said...

Sterling is probably chiding himself for taking/trusting a non-white mistress, and a mistress who is ageing out of her time of being attractive enough to make a pay-for-play living.

It has never occurred to me till now that the name "Magic Johnson" is more befitting a porn star than a sports hero.

3). The whole spectacle reads like Tom Wolfe, even the characters.

Dave Pinsen said...

How much more does Sterling need to donate to medical research to make up for starting out as a trial lawyer, in your estimation, Steve?

Oswald Spengler said...

Donald Sterling and Siamak Nehoray are prime examples of what, in the trade, are known as "sh@itlawyers."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shitlaw

Anonymous said...

>>Steve Sailer said:
""""So, the value of a franchise in Los Angeles keeps going up as the rich get richer, no matter how bad the Clippers are. And lately, they are even pretty good!"""""


Of course, that could also be because the Clippers are in a sport where 16 out of 29 teams qualify for the playoffs. Everyone with a bare .500% goes to the playoffs, So, basically, everyone except for the Pelicans and 6ers this yr.

Maybe the NCAA tournament set up is better. Only those colleges that get the invite get to play and the whole things only 3 wks.

Steve Sailer said...

In Woodland Hills?!?

Goldsmith says Private Eye is Anti-Semitic said...

Could they stop using Scottish place names to hide behind?

Anonymous said...

IRONY: If she wants to win or at least break even in the lawsuit, that means she has to go to the mat and all the way until she gets a favorable decision.

As that costs money, the lawyer Stiviano hired will end up costing her a Bentley, the Ferrari, and perhaps a second mortgage on the duplex.

Shame she couldn't have hired a more reputable attorney. Isn't Robert Shapiro's firm still have offices in LA?

Most likely it was his idea to have here wired up for 100hrs of intimate conversations re: the minorities etc.

Of course, NO ONE will want to see any videos of the two. No one's gonna pay to distribute that celebrity sex tape a la Hilton, Kardashian.

Anonymous said...

>>Steve Sailer said...
"""""In Woodland Hills?!?"""""

Huh? Oh, well...well, for bigger games couldn't they play in the new and expanded Pauley Pavillion?

Hold the playoffs in Westwood. Nice place, right. And as pointed out before, most of the attendees in the stands will be fine after dark.

Anonymous said...

Well, you're kind of right about Charlie F. knowing more about baseball than Sterling does about basketball, Steve, but after Curt Flood's reserve clause victory, Charlie could no longer ...oe WOULD no longer compete for top talent to build on those 3 World Series victories in a row.

The Anti-Gnostic said...

There is literally no level of lawyer advertising too cheezy or sleazy. They'll be featuring strippers before it's over.

And what's baffling to me is who won't do anything about it. Lawyer trade groups who could commission a ten-foot stack of economists' arguments in favor of their guild status will do nothing to stop the race to the bottom. Judges who, presumably, bank on their prestige to avoid being totally ignored by the other branches of government just sit back silently.

Speaking of bottom feeders Steve, what about the shark who got California judges to keep Jahi McMath's twitching, microbe-filled corpse pumping?

Where is Jahi's body right now? I read somewhere it's at a Catholic charity. Who's paying for this living Petri dish at this point?

Anonymous said...

"""""but after Curt Flood's reserve clause victory, Charlie could no longer ...oe WOULD no longer compete for top talent to build on those 3 World Series victories in a row."""""""

Finley didn't start the modern fire sale post championship run, that honor belongs to Athletics original owner Connie Mack who did it twice: back in 1915 (and proceeded to finish in last place for the next 7yrs) and in 1932-35.

So, in a way, the A's really pioneered the fire sale that the Marlins used to full advantage after their WS in '97 and '03.

Prof. Woland said...

An attorney who handles both family law and personal injury would be like a doctor who specializes in Ear Eye Nose & Throat and Gynecology. He would probably do the Gynecology for fun. In other words, this guy takes anything.

Anonymous said...

Steve, I posted yesterday that this entire situation will provide entertainment for weeks to come.

This is just the nonsensical tip or the iceberg. More to come.

Mount Shasta Inquirer said...

It was actually Andy Messersmith who defeated the reserve clause. Curt Flood lost a close decision in the Supreme Court. Before Messersmith, Catfish Hunter of the A's had become a free agent because Finley didn't give him a car as specified in the contract.

Anonymous said...

I guess no one else is going to give Mr. Sterling credit for the "Diversity Wanted" on the bottom of the Wanted poster for hostesses.

Anonymous said...

Are you saying that TMZ is suggesting that V. is a man?

I have noticed you have a poster following this story who has been stating that.

Anonymous said...

>>Mount Shasta Inquirer said:
""""" Before Messersmith, Catfish Hunter of the A's had become a free agent because Finley didn't give him a car as specified in the contract."""""""

Right, and in '74 all Catfish Hunter had managed to do was win the AL Cy Young Award. What a piker!

J. Pinkman, Esq. said...

When the going gets tough, you don't want a criminal lawyer-- you want a CRIMINAL-lawyer.

Maxwell Power said...

What if the league voted now to transfer the franchise to Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro-- that would be so L.A.

"I cannot RIP out the hearts of those who hurt you... I cannot hand you their SEVERED HEADS"

Anonymous said...

Goldsmith says Private Eye is Anti-Semitic said...

Could they stop using Scottish place names to hide behind?


Sterling is hicksville in the Commonwealth of Virginia,

Zachary Latif said...

Anonymous said...
The Wikipedia says that Siamak is a Persian name. A Google search for Nehoray brings up some Israelis. The lawyer could be an Iranian Jew.

4/28/14, 7:52 PM


Yes the reason that I thought that Siamak was of Iranian Jewish origins was by another method.

His name is Siamak Ebrahimi Nehoray and Siamak is a name from the Shahnameh, the Persian epic by Ferdowsi (upon further googling Siamak is the son of the first human, the equivalent to Abel).

It is very rare to see an Iranian (Persian) have such a staunchly Iranian first name and then such a Muslim second name (Ibrahimi).

Of course Ibrahimi is Abraham and I can only think of one ethnicity that would traditionally be as comfortably mixing Semitic & Persian naming conventions..

CJ said...

What I still can't quite get over is that Sterling has been doing this stuff for years. Not so much as in publicly expressing un-PC notions about "minorities", but more as in keeping Hispanic hooker mistresses 40 or 50 years younger than he is, giving them lavish gifts, and then suing to get them back. Here's the Smoking Gun's report on Sterling doing exactly that ten years ago:

Highlights From Donald Sterling's Dirty Deposition (2004)

Steve, please forgive me if you've already referenced this. There's so much sterling Sterling material it's hard to keep up.

CJ said...

Forgot to mention that the Smoking Gun piece on Sterling's 2004 bimbo eruption states that his previous Hispanic compensated companion was an ex-girlfriend of Mike Tyson.

You really can't make this stuff up.

Rifleman said...

A divorcing couple battles in court over their pet gibbon.

Funniest line you've ever written. Goes perfectly with the photo.

Let me make clear that allegations that I have served for the last 25 years as Mr. Donald T. Sterling's personal graphic artist are completely baseless.

I'm hoping the truth shames you into setting up a mirror site with a higher visual IQ. The Drudge-like minimalism of this site needs work.

The occasional photos of Golf courses or Euro-Hispanics are weak stuff. Does it cost anything to use more visual creativity and substance?

countenance said...

"Clippers celebrate black history month"

And the "black" player they show is a mulatto, black father white mother, instead of any of the more "real" blacks on the Clip Joint's roster, not even the marketable Chris Paul.

Anonymous said...

>>Countenance said:
""""""instead of any of the more "real" blacks on the Clip Joint's roster, not even the marketable Chris Paul."""""""

Why exactly is Chris Paul marketable? From a skills perspective, of course. But as far as a pitchman where you have to read actual lines and stuff?

When it comes to actually speaking in complete sentences, Paul, compared to Kareem? No comparison, Kareem any day.

smead jolley said...

Steve, you're right about Finley, but you're omitting how sagacious (autocomplete turns it into 'salacious') he really was. If Finley's advice had been heeded, chances are we'd all be spared the the depredations of these jocks run amok. Back in '76 when baseball lost the Reserve Clause and went to
limited free agency, Finley counseled "make 'em all free agents." With the labor market flooded every year, mega salaries would never have happened.

Anonymous said...

In Soviet Russia hottie chooses YOU?

There was a picture of him on a news programme with the Stiviano woman with a hottie in the second row.

Did he never see The Hottie and the Nottie?

Surely someone could not be that ignorant of William Shakespeare's works?

Though it would be the only expalination why he would go for the Widow Twanky rather than fair Desdemona.

Maxwell Power said...

"The Clip Joint"--haha I like it. And it works on so many levels...

Obama should give a primetime address denouncing the NBA plantation lords, with the U.S. Marine Band backing him with a stirring rendition of "My Country Tis of Thee." This type of global crisis is more his speed I think