August 15, 2005

"Is Love Colorblind?"

My 1997 "Is Love Colorblind?" article about interracial dating and marriage is still generating discussion after eight years. Today, one blogger noted the following highlights of a recent on-line discussion about white men and black women:

So the following are completely anonymous snippets of discussion:

- "White men's game is rather weak. They seem to lack the confidence that most brothers possess. But White men love them some sistas."

- "But uh yea my experience with them has been they're actually a little more straight forward and will ask you straight out if you'd like to go out for a drink or lunch. I guess they figure if you're going to shoot them down, do it quick! Most do seem a bit lacking in overall confidence as they ask you out. Like "Would you like to go out sometimes?, I know I'm white but.......blah blah blah."-Don't give me an explanation negro...I mean dude."

- "One thing about white men that I've found is that they're more into the whole chivalry thing and culturally, they're less likely to holler at a woman walking down the street because they consider it inappropriate. Since black women are often more used to the overt approach taken by many black men, black women don't often respond to the subtle flirtation that many white men use to show their interest."

- "White men are still in the sexual experiment phase concerning black women. they sleep with but they don't have the guts to marry. Dating is meaningless."

- "I don't think that black women understand that lots of white men are actually intimidated by black women. I have had some white male friends calling me and asking how to approach certain black women because they were crazy about them, and wanted to get to know them, but didn't quite know what to say or do to get their attention."

- "For me, growing up, black guys always told me I was too dark for beauty and that I need to find the strength to pick up a hot comb since I didn't want to relax my hair. Now while all this was going on in middle school and high school. the white guys were telling me how cute they thought i was and how pretty my hair is and asking me out to the dances. These things usually being said to the tops of my shoes because of being so shy or nervous."

As I wrote in 1997:

The realities of interracial marriage, like those of professional sports, show that diversity and integration turn out in practice to be fatal to the reigning assumption of racial uniformity. The courageous individuals in interracial marriages have moved farthest past old hostilities. Yet, they've discovered not the featureless landscape of utter equality that was predicted by progressive pundits, but a landscape rich with fascinating racial patterns. Intellectuals should stop dreading the ever-increasing evidence of human biodiversity and start delighting in it.

My published articles are archived at -- Steve Sailer


Unknown said...

Maybe interracial will be a hot issue all the time, but who cares? You know, I am in an interracial relationship with a guy outside of my race. oh,,,, guys, you can not image what I have met. I am a black cuttie girl and I just met my love half year ago and we will get married next month, and interracial love of course. Am I lucky? So lucky I think, and I wanna share my happiness with all of you here.

By the way, I found my half part baby on a great interracialchats site. He is really gorgeous, even sometimes he is a little shy. -:) If you try, you also can be the next lucky one. LOL. Bye!! and good luck to you all.

Anonymous said...

Thank's for writing your now famous article. I read it many years ago now and it still rings true.