February 24, 2013

They just don't make Academy Awards shows like they used to

The greatest moment in Oscar history.

And the greatest Oscar speech:
Raquel Welch: And the winner is...  
Phil Donahue: Uh, Raquel, just a second…  
Raquel Welch: Now what?  
Phil Donahue: …I just had a thought. This show is being seen all over the world. I was thinking, if we could all just send good thoughts, transmit them through these cameras here, to the elected leader of China, Wing Wa Woo Tong, so that they might finally be nice. Thank you.  
Raquel Welch: And the winner is...  
Phil Donahue: Uh Raquel, so many go to bed hungry in this nation, yet cat food is full of tuna! I can't help but think each time I go to the zoo and see those porpoises, crammed into those tiny tanks, what a waste that is. Butcher half of them now! That's hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat that can be fed to our cats, freeing up that tuna for our nation's hungry.  
Raquel Welch: And the winner is...  
Phil Donahue: Uh, so many are cold, shivering in the night, so I say, take those cats, and skin them! Use their fur to keep hundreds warm!  


astorian said...

Was he related to Enrico Palozzo?

Luke Lea said...

Pia Zadora? As in, "Where is the bathroom?

Auntie Analogue said...

Thank you, Mr. Sailer. On this night of the assembly of the world's second biggest* phony-baloneys all blowing smoke up each other's you-know-whats, I really needed the dose of humor you furnished.

*If you must ask which bunch of phony-baloneys forms the world's premier such bunch, then you haven't been following domestic politics since, oh, about 1965.

Anonymous said...


Killer Joe comes to government.

We are such barbaric slobs who can't handle freedom that we need Killer Joe gubment to whup our asses back to shape.

Aging Hag said...

My prediction about Riva was an epic fail. Illustrates the dangers of not listening to one's gut. I really had originally thought that Lawrence would win, because Hollywood needs a new fresh young starlet, much is riding on Lawrence with the Hunger Games franchise -- and Kristen Stewart has flamed out so spectacularly. (Was she on drugs last night? If so, they made her look even more miserable than usual.)

Hunger Games 2 and 3 are coming out and the fever seems to have passed - so they gave Lawrence the gong. All that cr*p that the old grumpy Jewish guy said about her turned out to be hot air.

Also Hathaway got the gong because she is young and apparently wholesome, newly married and all.

Chastain got robbed. It's a brutal business.

Reese Witherspoon always shows such poise. She has no stage training but has stage presence. A natural.

Why does Charlize Theron wear 6-inch heels all the time, when she is 5'10" in her stocking feet? Does she have some kind of masculinity issue?

The amount of eye makeup on Sandra Bullock has caused a national eye shadow shortage.

pat said...

This was an awards show that will be remembered for the old broads singing. Shirley Bassey and Barbra Streisand are both over seventy and they sounded older yet.

Why does everyone act as if Halle Berry is attractive? Most women in their twenties are sexually attractive, but to be a screen beauty you need rather more than just that. Berry is not particularly pretty. Her hair is dreadful. She's skinny and her skin is too dark. But her agent seems to believe that if everyone just agrees to say that she's beautiful then she will be beautiful.

That other too dark woman - Mrs. Obama - also seems to be a product of extraordinary press agentry. Michelle Obama will one day soon weight 250 pounds. Her press agent will try to hide her weight the way they now try to hide her very disagreeable personality.

I liked MacFarlane but jokes about him being gay don't work when he looks so gay. What is our position now on homosexuality? Is it cool? Are they still victims? I'm confused. This show seemed to announce that it was now completely fashionable to be pro-Nazi, anti-Jew, and pro John Wilkes Booth. I'm less certain about the new proper attitude about being gay.

A few years ago I discovered that the Brits, as the senior civilization, were mature enough to award the top BAFTA prize to comedies. "The Full Monty" won best picture for no better reason than that it was that year's best picture. The Oscars have yet to find the courage to do anything quite so radical. Although I was encouraged that they managed to avoid giving all the Oscars to "Lincoln" just for being the most glum and high minded movie as has been the case forever in Hollywood.

My only question remaining is - If that's a digital Tiger in "The Life of Pi", where can I get me some of that software?


Anonymous said...

Steve, you gotta say something on the Onion's tweet about the Wallis girl. It's got everything . . . race, satire, gender issues, liberal outrage, SWPLs. The whole package!

Corn said...

"Why does Charlize Theron wear 6-inch heels all the time, when she is 5'10" in her stocking feet? Does she have some kind of masculinity issue?"

Judging by the haircut she was sporting one can't help but wonder.

Dsgntd_Plyr said...

I was going to email this to Steve, but here's a good place to put it.

Vanity Fair article about how Tarantino wrote, produced, "Pulp Fiction." The article starts out with Sailer bait by talking about Linda Chen. She's a script doctor (author calls her a typist) who previously worked for Robert Towne ("Chinatown"). http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2013/03/making-of-pulp-fiction-oral-history

Steve Sailer said...

John Huston's secretary, Gladys Hill, did so much of the actual writing of his screenplays that he eventually let her share in the Oscar nomination for "The Man Who Would Be King."

In "Barton Fink," Judy Davis admits she's written much of the oeuvre of her drunk boss/boyfriend, William Faulkner.

AnotherDad said...

From Pat:

"Why does everyone act as if Halle Berry is attractive? Most women in their twenties are sexually attractive, but to be a screen beauty you need rather more than just that. Berry is not particularly pretty. Her hair is dreadful. She's skinny and her skin is too dark."

I'm a white guy who thought Halle Berry was quite attractive even through her early 30s. She's in that mixed race sweet spot, caucasian face, carmel skin, nice body, full natural breasts. She's now well into her 40s. I pulled up a pic from last night and there is something a little rough around the eyes, and you're right the hair is appalling. She'd be better off letting her hair grow--if she can. She definitely hasn't carried off the "spectacular at any age" thing. But, compared to most mid 40s women she's kept it together pretty well.

The real lesson here is the eternal one... we aren't young forever.

And women in particular are attractive--unlike women, men aren't looking for your provider capability--when they are young, full of estrogen, primed for reproduction.

I'm continually amazed how *oblivious* young women are to this basic fact. They've been propagandized by our cultural commissars who tell them their youth is for exploration, screwing around, building their precious career and to think about landing a suitable guy when they hit thirty and their body is in visible decline. They don't offer their "life partner" even a portion of their body's best ripest years. Heck they don't even bait with them.

A woman Berry's age should have all her kids in high school (maybe even in college) and even be thinking about retirement travel plans with her husband.

I think this whole societal edifice is creaking along on the productive effort of boring middle class white guys and their continuing--but declining--willingness to do their duty, "man up" and and marry these tedious white women ... put up with their crap, and pay the taxes for all the illegitmate EBT card babies and the bloated super-state and hanger on parasite classes.

Basically marriage--which is at the heart of civilization, which is basically productive effort (instead of warfar and mate guarding) and high investment parenting--is being kept alive by white guys sticking with the traditional life program of western civ. While today's women do not live up to their part in the program, and are generally not worthy of a man's investment. At some point men carrying on these traditions under changed and adverse conditions seems likely to erode and our pig pile of parasitism (and female silliness and entitlement) collapse.

Anonymous said...

Police Squad! In Color!


Anonymous said...

"The real lesson here is the eternal one... we aren't young forever. "

and makeup can't work forever.

Anonymous said...

Rare Criticism of Michelle Obama from the Left:

Milloy says there's been too much attention paid to Michelle's body (her arms, bangs, designer clothes), and not enough attention paid to her ivy league education:

"Where is that intellectually gifted Princeton graduate, the Harvard-educated lawyer and mentor to the man who would become the first African American president of the United States?" he asks.

"Surely that was not the first lady bumping hips and doing hand-jive dancing with Jimmy Fallon in drag on his late-night TV talk show."

Says Milloy of Michelle: "She ought to be under consideration for a seat on the Supreme Court, not recruited as a presenter in some Hollywood movie contest."