My wife was trying to fall asleep while I was watching the rip-snorting Brazilian gangster movie "City of God," so I turned the sound off. Hey, it's in Portuguese, so I'll just read the subtitles, right? No problem.
Well, it turned out to be a big problem because with the sound off, I could hear the voice in my head reading the subtitles ... and I'm a terrible actor.
I provided about as persuasive line readings as Rick Moranis did in that scene in Mel Brooks's "Star Wars" parody "Spaceballs," where, as the Darth Vader-character Dark Helmet, Moranis is playing with his Spaceballs action figures, doing both voices;
Dark Helmet: [In Dark Helmet voice] And now Princess Vespa, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to.
[In Vespa voice]: No, no, go away, I hate you! And yet... I find you strangely attractive.
[In D.H. voice]: Of course you do! Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you *know* it!
[In V. voice]: No, no, leave me alone!
[In D.H. voice]: No, kiss me.
[In V. voice]: Oh, oh, oh! Ohhhh, your helmet is so big!
My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer
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