June 29, 2013

Google Dopedar

Google has disabled Google Gaydar, but you can still quantify the Undernews by just putting the word "Is" in front of a celebrity's name and seeing what are the most popular prompts.

Personally, I've never felt inclined to state my Google searches in the form of a question, but then I know a lot about the logic of searching. So, these "Is" prompts may bring up a lower stratum of Google users. Let's hope so.

In honor of Wimbledon, let's try tennis players:

"Is Djokovic"

brings up 

1. Is Djokovic doping
2. Is Djokovic married
3. Is Djokovic gay

1. Is Serena Williams married
2. Is Serena Williams a Jehovah's Witness
3. Is Serena or Venus better
4. Is Serena doping

1. Is Nadal gay
2. Is Nadal right handed
3. Is Nadal playing in the 2013 French Ope
4. Is Nadal on steroids

1. Is Federer gay
2. Is Federer injured

Doping or steroids doesn't come up in the top 10 for the Swiss great, who has already lost at Wimbledon.

1. Is Sharapova still engaged
2. Is Sharapova married
3. Is Sharapova engaged

How about baseball players? What could be more enthralling than rehashing once again last year's American league MVP race?

1. Is Miguel Cabrera on steroids

1. Is Mike Trout married
2. Is Mike Trout a Christian
3. Is Mike Trout on steroids

Movie stars?

1. Is Johnny Depp dead

This "is dead" thing seems to come up a lot with movie stars (Is John Goodman dead is popular, but so is Is James Garner still alive), but not with athletes or Presidents:

1. Is Barack Obama black
2. Is Barack Obama muslim
3. Is Barack Obama the antichrist
4. Is Barack Obama the devil
5. Is Barack Obama a mason
6. Is Barack Obama left handed
7. Is Barack Obama Osama bin Laden
8. Is Barack Obama a good president
9. Is Barack Obama getting impeached

For sheer minimalism, you can type in just "Is " and find out What the World Most Wants to Know:

1. Is anyone up
2. Is shingles contagious
3. Is today a holiday
4. Is it down
5. Is skype free
6. Is facebook down
7. Is anyone down
8. Is coffee bad for you
9. Is Khloe Kardashian pregnant
10. Is oatmeal gluten free


Anonymous said...

No Comment
Robert Hume

Anonymous said...

who is steve sailer racist love is colorblind

Anonymous said...

I can only think of that great quote by the alien Eros in Plan 9 From Outer Space...

"Because all you of Earth are idiots!"

BrokenSymmetry said...

If you type "I che", Google prompts: "I cheated on my boyfriend", "I cheated on my husband", and finally "I cheated on my girlfriend".

Interesting omission of "I cheated on my wife" suggesting cheating husbands aren't wracked by guilt and less likely to seek online advice for their predicament (if it could be termed such).

OTOH the first two prompts suggest female adultery is more common than male, or they're just more likely to seek online reassurance for their hamster (hat tip to Heartiste).

Ross said...

There has been a few cases in the UK where prominent people have obtained injunctions to stop the media naming them in particular stories but where google will point people in the right direction.

For example the press haven't been able to name people close to the Prime Minister who had an affair but if you google -Downing Street Affair- names come up.

Anonymous said...

who is steve sailer racist love is colorblind

They spelled rayciss wrong.

Sideways said...

1 and 7 in your last search are notorious revenge porn sites.

Chief Seattle said...

After a lifetime of learning I find I can still answer only 6 of the top "is" questions.

The list from Seattle is slightly different. No Kardashians, replaced with "is 520 closed today"

a very knowing American said...

For "is steve sailer"
1. is steve sailer racist
2. who is steve sailer
3. is love colorblind steve sailer

For "is james watson"
1. is james watson still alive
2. is james watson racist

For "is charles murray"
1. is charles murray a racist

For "is richard dawkins"
1. is richard dawkins dead
2. is richard dawkins racist
3. is richard dawkins an atheist

For "is the pope"
1. is the pope catholic
2. is the pope gay

Asher said...

You know, Steve, you sometimes downplay yourself in terms of smarts. But I gotta say that you definitely have more inquisitiveness in any room than the ten smartest people combined. This sh*t is pure gold.

Anonymous said...

They don't call it 'gay pride month' but just 'pride month' as if homo fecal penetration = pride.

What does a guy buggering another guy have to do with pride?

Or is it power = wealth = privilege = alliance with Jews = pride. Neo-aristcratism. More snobbery than pride. Gay Snob Month is more like it.

Mr. Anon said...

Is it safe?

Anonymous said...


Ho, hum, another day, another arrest of an NFL player, this time one from the Colts.

Funny, the NHL doesn't seem to have this problem....wonder why.

Anonymous said...

Of course this is biased, since most google users will be white. And we all know that whites tend to be more suspicious of other races and more forgiving of their own kind.

jody said...

that almost nobody is talking about what an obvious major drug user serena williams is cracks me up. she's juiced to the eyeballs.

oldest number 1 WTA layer of all time. serving the ball as hard as she has ever at age 31. after starting her natural normal decline and getting beat in majors, suddenly, out of nowhere, she's unstoppable, on a 33 match win streak, the longest WTA win streak since 2000. that's 13 years ago. why would a player suddenly be doing the best they ever have when they couldn't do something like this when they were in their prime?

first time a US woman had been to the quarter final of the french open in 9 years - this 1 year after williams had been beaten out of the tournament in the very first round. then she goes on to bulldoze her way to winning the whole thing. remember, that's serena williams who couldn't get to the quarter final of the french open. these stats include her, not just some vague, amorphis blob of "US women".

no question marks there! nothing suspicious about no america woman even getting into the later rounds in 10 years then serena coming in far past her prime (or, she would be, without the drugs), then blowing everybody off the court, after failing to do so in the previous 10 attempts.

nothing suspicious about her losing the US open final to sam stosur, then disappearing for a while, and emerging with a new boyfriend she picked up in europe. wonder what drug connections he has.

in related news, the chinese track & field team has discovered whatever drugs the jamaican team is using. check out those eye popping time drops.

Unknown said...

The point about framing google searches in the form of a question is an interesting one. I do not recall ever having done this and, at the risk of sounding like a tech snob, I cannot understand why someone would. Is this a class thing? Is it age related? I could see perhaps older people asking questions in to google. I don't know. I suspect that the old search engine Ask Jeeves, though ultimately a failure, has been a influencing force in this case.

I would be interested to know if anyone in the Sailersphere googles in the form of a question. This might be a downmarket class marker.

Anonymous said...

Just go to the datalounge.

The gossip on celebs like Gillian Anderson (dated Jodie Foster, Helen Hunt and a lingerie model named Elisha Jade Donowa), Bo Derek (long romance with female porn star Annette Haven) and Leo Dicaprio (*weird* relationship with Haas) is just the tip of the iceberg.

Anonymous said...

Hey Steve,

Have you heard about the Spanish doctor, Eufemiano Fuentes? His lab was raided, and hundreds of blood bags containing EPO and HGH labeled with athletes names were seized? The bags were supposed to be turned over to the World Anti-Doping Agency, but a Spanish judge ordered that all the blood bags be destroyed and all records of athletes associated with his lab be destroyed. Fuentes has said he worked with Spanish cyclists, soccer players, and tennis players, and that the 2010 World Cup champion Spanish team would be stripped of their title if he talked.

dsgntd_plyr said...

"Is anyone up?" Is a "revenge porn" website. People post nude pictures (and sometimes sextapes) of people they know, with links to their social media websites to verify identities.

Steve Sailer said...

What, Seattleites aren't obsessed with the more obscure Kardashians? What kind of backward burgh are you?

blogger said...

Boy, Gaddafi was ahead of his time.

Hazing gets homo-ish.


blogger said...

If you type 'he be', you get 'he be je bes', 'he be like', 'he be a kid', 'he be illin'.

Anonymous said...

'She be' gets you 'she be puttin on'.

blogger said...

If Republicans who voted for Amnesty insulted Hispanics, how come most Hispanics are for amnesty and support the Democrats--and despise her and hate Republicans who voted against it?

And the GOP pissed away blue collar Democrats when Reagan and Bush pushed 'free trade' polices and financial deregulation that favored the globalist elites over American workers. Didn't Reagan sign the first amnesty? Didn't Bush speak of New World Order and get us into unnecessary wars? Didn't Bush II get us into the Iraq War directed by Zionist Jews but in which most of the dying was by white gentiles?
Palin supported Romney, a candidate despised by blue collar American workers.

Palin is either stupid or delusional. It's like Republicans claiming to be less 'racist' by claiming that Democrats are the real 'racist'. Never mind that most blacks are even more Democratic and anti-white and anti-Republican than even Jews, yellows, and Hispanics are.


Palin wants to start a new party but based on lies. Gee, I wonder how many browns and blacks will sign onto the Freedom Party!

Cail Corishev said...

I would be interested to know if anyone in the Sailersphere googles in the form of a question. This might be a downmarket class marker.

I've only done it if I suspect the question is likely to be repeatedly literally on the page. For instance, if I'm looking for a FAQ page, those are frequently in a question/answer format. But that's rare. Like Steve, I know enough about the way data searches work to focus my searches on the most important words, just as if I were doing a SQL search. My favorite search engine used to be Altavista, because you could do actual boolean searches, which were very handy when you weren't sure which of two different words might be used: "(Unix OR Linux) AND (shareware OR freeware)".

Unfortunately, I think those skills are becoming passe, because the search engines are getting smarter and being designed for the "natural English" way that non-techs ask questions. They're also getting very good at guessing what you're really looking for even if your search terms weren't quite right, so there's less advantage now in being able to think of the words that will best match the target. It may get to the point soon where just typing in a half-assed question may get a better result than trimming it down to 2-3 perfect search terms.

Anonymous said...

Is Steve Sailer married to an Asian?

Maya said...

"Why" gives you:
Why do men cheat
Why men cheat
Why is the sky blue
Why are barns red [I don't get this last one. Are barns most commonly red]

"Where" gets you:
Where is my refund
Where is Chuck Norris
Where am I

"I love":
I love it
I love my boyfriend
I love it lyrics

"I hate":
I hate my wife
I hate my boyfriend
I hate my life
I hate being sober

game over said...

"is abe"

1. is abe vigoda alive

d said...

Women's tennis is such crap that Serena Williams will be wiping the court with unathletic white women until she's 48. They are just scared of her.

This shows how bad women's sports is. No testosterone no competition.

peterike said...

Serena Williams just got beat by a gorgeous white girl.

dufus maximus said...

"I would be interested to know if anyone in the Sailersphere googles in the form of a question. This might be a downmarket class marker."

It's not anymore. The Google bois have understood for awhile now that people type questions into the great Oracle, and Google does not anylonger automatically ignore interrogative phrases like "Who is" or "What can" the way it did in the past -- it incorporates them into the search and directs the user to pages that explicitly answer questions

Anonymous said...

Is Google Gay?